Beer-gettstown

In Burgettstown, Pa., a man allegedly broke out of a jail holding cell after being arrested for assault, according to a Huffington Post article. After having his handcuffs removed and being placed in the cell, the man apparently broke the cell’s hinges and bolted. After stopping at a house to borrow some shoes, the man entered a local bar to get a beer. However, following a tip from a resident of the town, police apprehended the man before he could enjoy his drink. “The Shawshank Redemption” would have had a decidedly different ending if its protagonist had followed this man’s example.

Equal swimming field

According to a video from the “Today Show,” there’s a certain fish with a buoyancy problem that needs a specially constructed sling to stay afloat. According to the owner, without the sling, the goldfish would not be able to move from the bottom of its tank. We’re glad this fish is being given an equal oppor-tuna-ty.

Me-Ow

According to an article on NBC Los Angeles, in Oakland, Calif., a man named Daryl Humdy won the top prize in a “most unusual claim” contest from his pet insurance company when his black Siberian cat, Natasha, was trapped in the washing machine. Humdy said that he had left the washing machine open to get more laundry, and he hadn’t noticed that the cat had jumped in when he returned to the laundry room. Six-month-old Natasha went through a 35-minute spin cycle and survived, although she had to go to an emergency pet hospital for treatment for hypothermia and shock. She has since made a full recovery. As for telling this story to NBC: Who let the cat into the (laundry) bag?

David, put your sling away

In the small town of Okuizumo, located in eastern Japan, a businessman has donated 16-foot-tall replicas of Michelangelo’s famous statue of David and the Greek statue of Venus de Milo, according to an article on NBC. Some of the town’s residents are shocked by the statues’ natural states, with some residents even calling for underwear to be put on the statue of David. It looks like this town wants to hide David’s Goliath.

Grand Theft Cookie

According to the Associated Press, in Berlin, Germany, someone dressed as the Cookie Monster stole a statue of a cookie from a baked-goods factory. The 44-pound gilded cookie was later found outside a local university, hanging from the neck of a horse statue with a red ribbon. This fake Cookie Monster’s catchphrase must be “B is for Burglary.”