Trimble: Oral sex should be reciprocal

By Leah Trimble

College students seem to have forgotten something: Sex is about equality.

Lately my… College students seem to have forgotten something: Sex is about equality.

Lately my girlfriends keep telling me that their men don’t think about reciprocating after receiving a blowjob. They leave their girlfriends hanging, and sometimes don’t even initiate foreplay before sex.

Equally distressingly, I’ve heard of guys giving oral sex to girls and then not getting anything in return. Regardless of gender, we should all compromise in the bedroom.

I’ve encountered this situation before, too, and it turns out I’m in the majority: An article in Cosmopolitan reports that 62 percent of its readers specifically desire more oral sex.

Why is this occurring? In the article, Linda Banner, Ph.D., explains that maybe we’re not letting men know that we want it, and that “young males can be selfish in bed, focusing on their own desires.”

I personally think that the former reason is crap. Men, do you want oral pleasure when you’re with your partner? If you answered yes, then you can be certain that we would say yes to the same question.

Do we have to explicitly ask for a little foreplay? Has it really come to this? I always thought that the saying “give a little, get a little” counted for something. It’s common courtesy to reciprocate — not just every once in a while when you’re feeling generous.

After hearing about my friends’ issues, I decided to investigate the problem and go right to the source: selfish college men. One guy tried to explain that the vagina was, for lack of a better word, open, and therefore dirtier than the male genitalia. He told me that it was “exposed” all the time, not like a penis that is “covered.”

Another guy brought up the ever-so-popular pubic hair argument, mentioning that it was just disgusting and that he thought every girl should be completely shaven or waxed.

Finally, there’s the equally prevalent smell complaint. The guy that brought this up gave the most horrible cringing face.

“Most girls,” he said, “give off a bad aroma and taste terrible.”

Here’s what I have to say in return: These are only superficially sound arguements; most men are over-exaggerating to excuse laziness and selfishness. The “vagina being open” comment, for instance, is frankly absurd. The area we touch on you is just as exposed.

For those of you worried about pubic hair: You should put that anxiety to use on your own nether region. I’ve known no more than 10 men in my life that actually shave everywhere. For those of you that keep clean, we appreciate it, just as you appreciate it from us. But please, please, don’t think you can even begin to complain about pubic hair until you handle your own grooming problems.

And lastly, about the smell: I cannot tell you that a smelly private area doesn’t exist — I’ve never had my nose that close to one. What I can tell you is that those people that regularly give women oral sex usually claim to like or not notice a smell. I will also say that good hygiene is nice for everyone, both men and women, to practice.

In any case, I’m going to let you men in on a little secret: You probably don’t give off the nicest aroma either. In fact, one of my friends told me that her boyfriend came home from the gym one day and expected her to go down on him before showering, which is absolutely unacceptable.

Women share similar reservations about going downtown — not least of which is that it’s hard work.Some women also have anxiety about gagging or hygiene issues. I’ve only heard of one girl that swore off oral sex forever, but — this is important — she doesn’t expect it in return.

And that’s how it should be. This would all be irrelevant if there was some even playing ground. If you don’t want to do something, that’s fine and it’s always your decision — but don’t expect someone to do an act you refuse to reciprocate. It’s all about compromise and equality. Everyone should be happy and satisfied, especially when it comes to sex.

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