Trimble: Can’t spell ménage à trois? You can still have one

By Leah Trimble

once talked about becoming more sexually adventurous with age. What I forgot to mention is that… I once talked about becoming more sexually adventurous with age. What I forgot to mention is that college generally provides those same grounds. It’s like a free pass for bypassing moral code. Opportunities arise, and if you so choose, you have the chance to grab them.

When it comes to sex, if you’re interested, anything and everything is possible. Girl-on-girl makeouts when you usually play straight? That’s typical. One-night stands that stretch into friends with benefits? Why not? Inviting a friend along to join the sack session? You bet.

At least in the media, the topic of group sex is everywhere — you only have to pick up a copy of Cosmopolitan or watch episodes of “Seinfeld” or “Sex and the City” to know this. Threesomes are a known as being a common conquest — for those who are down with experimentation, multiple partners at once is usually somewhere on the wish list. The more people involved, the more risk taken on. It’s important to consider certain conditions and ultimately, the rules of the game.

1. Choose your partners wisely. This is the biggest thing to worry about. Do you want two guys or two girls? Should you ask an acquaintance or someone you call your best friend? Who you pick pretty much single-handedly decides what the outcome will be in a situation such as this. If something goes wrong, the effects could be detrimental to your friendship.

2. Take caution when involving couples. Whether you are the one in a relationship or the one invited into the mix, there are definitely more risks presented when a twosome branches out. Jealousy often takes over. If you have a boyfriend or girlfriend, watching someone else perform with them can be hurtful, and you might begin to resent the conditions. If a couple asks you, be wary. Friends sometimes don’t have realistic expectations, and if one of them feels jealous afterward, the result might not be good for your friendship.

3. Establish rules. Don’t worry. It won’t ruin the experience. Just take a quick second beforehand, or even when it’s planned, to say what’s good and what things aren’t allowed. For example, kissing might not be allowed in some circumstances, or maybe anal is off-limits. The rules are specific to each group. You have to think about where it’s going to happen. Make sure that there’s enough privacy and room to move around. Is everyone sleeping over? Who can penetrate whom? It’s easy to offend someone you care about.

4. Provide equal attention. Everyone should be in on the action at all times if possible. No one wants to be left out and sitting there awkwardly waiting to regroup. Even though some positions are limited, try your best to be fair. Everyone wants to be involved and have a great time. That means similar contributions from everyone involved.

5. Don’t be drunk. Although it happens, alcohol is not the best thing to involve in something as big as this. Sex and alcohol just don’t mix for countless reasons. Period.

6. Use protection. I always say this, but it is really important. Could you imagine if a one person’s boyfriend got the other girl pregnant? Or someone transmitted an STD to two people at once? That’s twice the nightmare. Instead of having to worry about it, just use a condom and get tested beforehand. It’s that easy. And if you’re smart, bring several of them. Threesomes mean moving around and possible intercourse with more than one person. Chances are, the condom won’t endure the whole round and you’ll most likely need to replace it.

7. Be prepared for the worst. The warnings were already previously stated. Realistically, not many people can emotionally handle being sexually involved with more than one person at once, especially when there are couples involved. Jealousy commonly results, and it can ruin friendships for good.

If you’re thinking about being in a threesome or any group sex, just be prepared and make sure everyone is comfortable with the situation. With this in mind, you can be free to have triple the fun.

Write Leah at [email protected]

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