Trimble: Pleasuring oneself not just for the boys

By Leah Trimble

Masturbation is wrongfully considered a gender-specific topic.

Most women… Masturbation is wrongfully considered a gender-specific topic.

Most women won’t even admit to one another that they touch themselves, whereas a majority of society seems to accept male openness when it comes to publicly announcing their dirty deeds.

Before I call up my guy friends, I have to consider that I might be upsetting their precious “jerk time.” I’m forced to schedule lunch dates around their masturbation schedules. It’s almost as if their penises have their own appointment books with five-minute blocks — providing they even need that much time.

Most guys also aren’t hesitant to admit they’ve watched porn in their lifetime. I can say with complete certainty that all of my male friends would be willing to — if they haven’t already — discuss with me their favorite websites, types, stars and whatever other graphic details they decided to throw in for good measure. They would probably even be able to rattle off their list of top men’s magazine issues.

Why is it that women don’t share this lack of censorship when it comes to their sexual solo sessions? Some ladies even seem appalled by the idea of female masturbation, as if it’s something that’s OK for only men to do.

A female friend approached me a few days ago for advice, knowing I wouldn’t be ashamed to speak my mind on the subject. She wanted to surprise her long-time boyfriend in bed. Almost jokingly, I nonchalantly replied “Just lay in front of him and touch yourself.” Her face was indescribable. It was like a mixture of surprise, disgust and horror. She returned the shock by telling me that she wasn’t sure she could go through with it, but that she really wanted to.

Do reactions like this stem from the age-old societal pressures that women must conform to tradition and “act like a lady,” leaving things to the imagination?

One guy I asked explained that “when women admit to it, they tend to look as if they want to flaunt it, making them seem slutty and easy. But they shouldn’t freak out and overreact about it. It’s natural.” Another one laughed and said, “I wish girls talked about it more. I picture them stereotypically turning off the lights, lighting a hundred candles in their silk robes and getting in between the sheets to do it because no girl will actually say how it really goes down.”

The sad thing is that most girls even have the nerve to reverse our sexual progress and cry out with disgust, “Ew, that’s gross! I would never do that.” Women should do and say what they please when it comes to their own sex life. If you don’t want to, then that’s your choice. But don’t make comments against other women’s actions unless you’ve tried at least once and can make a valid argument. Hundreds of sex toys geared toward this purpose aren’t leaving store shelves daily because women don’t do it.

So girls, if you do masturbate and want to admit it, go right ahead. Don’t be afraid. If you haven’t ever tried it and have a bit of curiosity, I fully encourage you to take 10 minutes out of your schedule to relax and enjoy yourself. No harm can come from knowing what pleases you in the bedroom.

Just ask any man and they will tell you that the image of you masturbating is one of the sexiest things they can imagine. You can expect at least one request to take a sneak peek.

Go ahead and light a few candles or find your favorite website. I won’t interrupt anymore of your available time alone with your five-fingered friend.

E-mail Leah at [email protected]