NBC, we need to talk.

Sometimes I like you. You give me “The Office” and… NBC, we need to talk.

Sometimes I like you. You give me “The Office” and several kinds of “Law & Order.”

But sometimes you infuriate me. You told the Penguins they couldn’t set up their big-screen party in the playoffs last year because you didn’t want local ratings to drop.

You cut away from the second overtime of a playoff game between the Buffalo Sabres and New York Rangers to show the Kentucky Derby pre-race coverage. I know you have a thing for that shot of the sun rising over a racetrack as a man in a baseball cap tends to the horse that made it against all odds, but it could’ve waited.

And, NBC, when you opted to nationally televise ice dancing over the much-anticipated United States-Canada hockey game on Feb. 21, well, that was the last straw.

I’m breaking up with you. Yeah, Valentine’s Day was just yesterday, but what did you want me to do? I gave you one last day together with me, but you kept showing video of the Georgian luger’s fatal crash instead.

Don’t cry, NBC! I know my sport is on MSNBC. But how do you think my friends who don’t have that cable network feel? And what about Chris Matthews? You’re so selfish sometimes, always thinking of yourself first.

Go run off on your night of ice dancing, skiing and women’s speed skating. Tape delay whomever you want. Use some sentimental montages for that girl who hurt herself but recovered just in time. See if I care. I always thought the ice dancers’ choice of music was subpar. Subpar! And their outfits are tacky.

But at least you’ll be able to display the American duo’s vibrant teal get-ups in high definition. You come in high definition at no extra cost to most cable and satellite plans, but MSNBCHD doesn’t. I’m stuck watching hockey in standard definition. Do you know how hard it is to follow the puck!? I’m about ready to become a football fan.

And what’s all this about your reason why you chose ice dancing over my good friend hockey? I read that you hoped these Olympics would lure in the casual female viewer first and foremost. Really, NBC? I can’t believe you were on the prowl when we were still together. I know what “casual female” means.

Yeah, NBC, the Kentucky Derby and the Olympics are the two sporting events in which women viewers outnumber male. Sure, I’m not going to buy the Olympic sponsors’ life insurance policy or lease a car, but I’ve bought chips and pop off of your recommendations for years. What about me? Am I just some Conan you think you can kick to the curb?

And what about your friendship with the NHL? You two signed a prenup. Your deal splits all advertising revenue between the two of you. You were supposed to grow the game together. You can’t do that if Olympic hockey’s on the USA Network.

The NHL took a two week break so you could showcase its stars in primetime. There’s no point to the stoppage if you aren’t going to hold up your end of the bargain. Hockey’s been good to you. I hope you’re enjoying all that revenue the Winter Classic keeps bringing in.

I can understand why Finland-Sweden is on MSNBC after Canada-United States ends. The average dude’s four-second attention span isn’t drawn in by the stellar cycle along the boards by the Sedin twins. But flash SIDNEY CROSBY, AMERICA and something like THE BLOODBATH IN B.C.—SPONSORED BY FORD on your screen and you have a winner.

The game on Feb. 21 features two big nations playing in the Winter Olympics’ premiere sport. Ice dancing can wait. NBC, you have 18 preliminary round games this coming week and only one is on you — and it’s Russia-Czech Republic.

That’s almost as bad a decision as the acronym MSNBCHD.

If you’re stuck without MSNBC or just have nothing to do this week, feel free to check out “Back to the Point” at pittnews.com/blogs for some mildly entertaining Olympic coverage.