Back in 2024, I was on the fence about my decision to vote for Donald Trump. He was right — I was getting tired of winning, and I thought maybe it would be nice to throw the Democrats a bone and let them have another four years. But as November approached, it became clear that the stakes of this election were too high to wait until 2028 for a second Trump term.

As a proud red voter, I’ll be the first to admit that many of the consequences of his reelection have seemed odd, controversial or even intentionally detrimental across partisan lines. But whenever I’m unsure about the direction Trump is taking our country, I know there’s one man that I can always trust — the president of the United States of America. And if our president, the most powerful and capable man in our nation, tells me that Trump is making the right moves, then I’ll keep on rooting for him.

Now, this philosophy I’ve been following all came to a bit of a head the other day. I was scrolling X, and I saw that Elon Musk quote tweeted “Cool” on a post outlining Trump’s latest executive order. As it turns out, on March 14, 2025, the National Guard will enter my home and drag me out into the backyard, where they will extrajudicially kill me via a bullet to the back of my head, along with one to my neck for good measure.

When I first read this, I found it concerning. I’m a good citizen. I pay my taxes. I came to this country legally through my mother’s birth canal. It seemed odd that Trump would single me out for execution on my own property, especially after I had voted for him. But then I remembered — I didn’t see the genius behind a lot of Trump’s actions when he first made them.

It seemed odd to me at first when Trump tanked the Dow Jones by 2000 points in just two weeks. It seemed odd when his appointed justices voted to limit protections against raw sewage in our water. It’s hard to believe, but I even once thought it seemed odd when egg prices hit an all-time high after his inauguration. I soon came to realize these are all just necessary stepping stones on the path toward making America great again.

In the same way that Biden’s relative economic stability was propped up by fake money and Democratic lies, my right to live was also an illegitimate construct brought about by deep state bureaucrats.

I am an America-first patriot, and as such, I have always held our United States Constitution in very high esteem. This document outlines three universal unalienable rights — life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness. These words were drafted by the great Thomas Jefferson, but what I didn’t know until recently is that Jefferson himself was an operative of the woke left.

I often thought of Jefferson as a champion of individual and state rights — rights that we Republicans fight for year after year — but then I learned Jefferson was actually not a Republican, but a Democratic Republican. In this age where Democratic ideals seek to destroy our country, I know I can only listen to Republican Republicans, like Trump, or occasionally a Republican Democrat, like John Fetterman. Unfortunately, the left Democratic drivel that is Jefferson’s inalienable right to life just doesn’t hold up under the careful scrutiny of a true Republican administration.

I’m glad Trump is fixing what history’s Democrats have snuck into our government, and I feel honored to have my name immortalized by his pen in this executive order. I’m not quite ready to break the news to my wife and our three children, but I’m sure that they, like me, will understand with time. There was supposed to be a clean-up crew that traveled with the firing squad, but Elon Musk cut their funding to save a few million dollars. My wife will have to scrape my cerebrum off our back deck, but won’t she be glad when she gets our tax return.

I’m sure I’m only the first of many who will receive a death warrant from President Trump. I speak for everybody who will be slashed by the government when I say that we are glad this is happening. This is what we voted for, and this is what delivering on promises looks like. 

Trump is draining the swamp. I used to think I was on firm land beside him, but today, I realized I’ve actually been swimming in those murky waters this whole time. Trump sees what I and my fellow voters can’t, and despite the seemingly questionable decisions he’s making now, I have hope for this country after I’m gone — for the economy, for public health, for the environment, for international relations and of course for our veterans who may have the privilege of returning to their post to fight for Trump’s future.

I kneel for our fallen troops, and I’m glad that I, like them, now have the opportunity to die for this great country.

Thomas Riley isn’t a huge fan of the current administration. Write to them at [email protected]