‘ ‘ ‘ The doors of Litchfield Towers blast open to reveal a freshman with long hair, Jamaican… ‘ ‘ ‘ The doors of Litchfield Towers blast open to reveal a freshman with long hair, Jamaican flags on his backpack and a suspicious cigarette in his mouth. ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ He has a 12:30 p.m. class in David Lawrence Hall, all the way across Forbes Avenue. ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ It’s 12:29. ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ The character described above is about to commit just one of the infinite ‘failure to cross properly’ offenses that constantly occur on campus. ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ The pedestrian bridge teases him with not only safe passage above Forbes Avenue, but also little papers on the floor advertising the coming of a 2-foot-10-inch tall stripper to a Pittsburgh gentlemen’s club. ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ But there’s no time to take the University’s preferred route. ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ He slides down the banister and lands on his backpack full of CDs. ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ Now, he has only 30 seconds until his The Archeologist Looks at Death class starts. He has no other choice but to illegally cross the street. ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ The light just turned green. He’s screwed. There’s no way he can hop his way across Forbes before a parade of SUVs, buses and one lonely, inadequate man on a bicycle come flying into our hero’s face. ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ But the consequence is much greater than the risk: having to wait for the light and then miss the beginning of today’s Neanderthal Trauma lecture. ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ Without removing his headphones, he courageously hurtles himself into the street. Perhaps the white buds in his ear are telling him how to move through traffic, like some sort of Matrix-esque parody. It’s more likely they’re playing ‘Buffalo Soldier.’ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ In what would make an excellent slow-mo scene, he seamlessly imitates Frogger, but with epic opera music as the soundtrack: Richard Wagner’s ‘Ride of the Valkyries.’ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ The whoosh of BMWs and Hondas reflect off his fearful eyes. His dreadlocks violently blow back and forth from the force of the cars zooming by. ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ He’s in the last lane, but a city bus is in hyper-speed, the driver distracted by a lone man sitting in the back ranting about David Duchovny, the tooth fairy and how they’re both plotting to invade France. ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ Our hero dives and lands on his backpack, his savior once more, as the bus whizzes by. He’ll never be able to hear that Dark Side of the Moon reggae version disc ever again. He kisses the ground with utter glee like a sailor finding land after spending three years on a rescue raft filled with tigers and Nazis. ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ This guy is not alone. Pitt has an extremely apparent jaywalking problem. ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ According to Pitt police officer Ron Bennett, pedestrians may cross the road legally in a crosswalk or not in a crosswalk if they yield to vehicles. ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ So crossing Forbes Avenue outside of Litchfield Towers is legal, but not always safe. ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ Forbes Avenue, underneath the pedestrian walkway connecting Litchfield Towers to David Lawrence and Posvar halls, is the most active setting for frequent crossing activity. ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ Jaywalking occurs even more after lectures let out. Masses of 40 students or more casually cross the middle of Forbes. ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ But most students conclude that the pedestrian bridge is too much effort and too little efficiency. ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ When asked why she crossed Forbes right in front of David Lawrence Hall instead of using the bridge, freshman Gabriella Grosso said, ‘It takes less time.’ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ It’s true. It does take less time. Walking up the stairs to get to the pedestrian bridge usually adds an extra 35 seconds onto one’s travel time. ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ These 35 seconds could be spent in much more useful ways: reading 2.6 posts of fmylife.com or binge drinking. But time efficiency is time efficiency. ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ Look closely and you’ll find that supporters of the pedestrian bridge are out there. One student said he prefers the bridge ‘because it’s warmer.’ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ But even crossing properly has its problems. ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ The crosswalk connecting the Cathedral of Learning to the William Pitt Union has tons of close calls daily. ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ Impatient drivers and careless students both end up shouting colorful profanities at each other. ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ But consider Pennsylvania’s state-wide road safety campaign, ‘Drive Safe PA!’ which included a two-hour period where 21 drivers and 12 pedestrians were cited for unsafe activities, such as failing to cross properly. This happened a mere two weeks ago. ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ Where does the blame lie? ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ With the drivers, speeding down Forbes and Fifth avenues in 6-ton, tank-like SUVs talking/texting/watching TV on cell phones, drinking coffee/tea/liquefied bat guano and blasting hip-hop/country/Norwegian death metal? ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ Or is it on the pedestrians, with their iPods blasting music on their headphones, grande orange mocha frappacinos in one hand and cell phones in the other, that ignorantly cross the road after class as if they were following a special crosswalk with a red carpet that only they could see? ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘You definitely have to keep your head on a swivel so you don’t take anyone out,’ said Nick Fiske, a Pitt law student who’s dodged non-cross-walking pedestrians before in his own vehicle. ‘It doesn’t bother me. As you’re driving you just have to keep your eye out for it. I do the same thing, so I don’t get mad at people for hopping over cars.’ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ Once cars start illegally crossing the sidewalk, though, then it might just be easier to combine sidewalks and roads into one flawless fusion of pavement and cement.