Modern innovations such as electric power, the airplane and the Internet have greatly enhanced… Modern innovations such as electric power, the airplane and the Internet have greatly enhanced our way of life. Thank you Wright brothers, Thomas Edison and Al Gore.

Last February, another brilliant construction emerged: www.thefacebook.com.

Using this Web site, college students across the country can post a picture and personal information online, as well as search for other students who have done the same. More than 150 schools now have access to thefacebook.com, and recently Pitt became one of them. The Web site describes itself as “an online directory that connects people through social networks at colleges and universities.”

If you haven’t immersed yourself in the world of online friend-making yet, you may want to soon. According to The Yale Daily News, last month a lawsuit was filed against the site’s founder, Harvard student Mark Zuckerberg. The suit claims Zuckerberg “breached his contract with the founders of rival Web site ConnectU.com and made use of their source code to launch his own site after committing to work for them.” The plaintiffs are asking thefacebook.com to shut down.

But as I write this column, thefacebook.com is up, running and addictive. Let your friend collecting begin. Once you find people you know on the Web site’s data base, you can send e-mails asking for their friendship. You either get confirmed or rejected. Ah, just what every self-esteem needs.

Odds are, though, that you’ll get accepted. Then they’ll be added to your list of friends, and you’ll be added as to theirs, making them look more popular.

God bless thefacebook.com for making my life easier. I don’t want to waste time trying to get a date with people who aren’t single. On this magnificent Web site, students may list their relationship status and what they’re looking for, ranging from “friendship” to “whatever I can get.” Now I can find out if the cute guy in my night class is not only available, but desperate too.

And if things don’t work out with him, I can use thefacebook.com to find another soulmate. Many students using this Web site reveal classes they’re taking, their interests and even whom they’ll vote for in the upcoming presidential election.

So to find a liberal, foreign film-watching pre-med major, all I do is type a few words into the site’s search engine and plant myself outside his class.

“Hey,” I’ll say as he’s coming out of the classroom, “you don’t know me, but I’ve been admiring you on thefacebook.com for some time now …”

Forget fate. We’ve got thefacebook.com.

Thefacebook.com also rids life of the pesky chores of calling and visiting friends. Instead, thefacebook.com allows you to send e-messages so they know you care. As for people you’re curious about, but don’t care about, thefacebook.com has a feature for searching graduates of your high school. Now I can relax about the fact that I will be obese, alone and unsuccessful someday, because there’s no need to attend a high school reunion. One trip to thefacebook.com and I know where everyone is, what they’re doing and most importantly, what they look like.

A word of warning: Not only does your personal page display how many friends you have at your university, but it also tallies friends at other schools as well. You may find yourself seeking friendship of a horrid ex-boyfriend just because he ended up at Yale and adding him to your list will increase your coolness level.

If you still haven’t experienced this e-friend innovation and think it’s better to talk to and encounter people in person rather than stalk them online, you may want to reconsider your resistance.

Otherwise, don’t come crying to me after a potential employer of your dream job looks over his glasses, scans your resume and says, “I see you have a 4.0 GPA with a triple major in nuclear physics, French literature and culinary arts. And the anti-poverty campaign you organized fed 9,000 starving children. Plus you have a book on the New York Times Bestsellers List about your battle with leukemia.

“But I searched your name on thefacebook.com and found you only have 15 friends from your university and two from Ivy Leagues. I’m afraid you’re just not what we’re looking for right now.”

Maria’s brother always tells her she has no friends, so she’s grateful thefacebook.com says otherwise. She can be reached at [email protected].