Torque not so cool, even with Ice Cube

Torque

Starring: Martin Henderson, Monet Mazur, Jaime Pressly, Jay…

Torque

Starring: Martin Henderson, Monet Mazur, Jaime Pressly, Jay Hernandez, Adam Scott, Ice Cube, Matt Schultze

Directed by Joseph Kahn.

Motorcycle chases, lots of fire, gun fights, brawls that spill out into the streets, good-looking men and women doing motorcycle tricks – it sounds like a good time. However, “Torque” takes this potentially fun combination and turns it into a disastrously boring and outlandish movie.

The script seems like the comic book-infused motorcycle fantasies of a 12-year-old boy who’s been listening to a lot of 50 Cent. It’s flashy and action-packed, with plenty of swearing, but it doesn’t make much sense. Basically, Ford (Martin Henderson) just finished a six-month sentence in jail, but he has plenty of trouble to deal with on the outside. The leader of the Hellions motorcycle gang, Henry (Matt Schulze), is seeking to exact revenge on Ford for some motorcycles that Ford stole. Henry sets Ford up, and suddenly the leader of another motorcycle gang, Trey (Ice Cube), is after Ford, as are a pair of FBI agents. Ford and his friends ride their motorcycles across California, trying to clear Ford’s name.

There are many opportunities for comedy and for suspense, but the chances are missed or just executed poorly. There are only a couple moments of humor in an otherwise dull film that tries too hard with its one-liners. The characters lack any interesting or unique qualities. They can be classified into typical categories – the bad boy who is really good, the tough but beautiful woman, the bumbling sidekicks, the really evil bad guy and the big-city cop who’s stuck in the country. It’s all been done before. Even the chemistry between the characters is hard to believe. They might as well be complete strangers to each other caught up in a twisted version of “The Real World.”

The motorcycles are loud, but the movie lacks an up-tempo soundtrack to drive the action and distract from the improbability of the motorcycle stunts. Violence occurs quite frequently in the movie without much consequence, unless the person is meant to be killed. People walk out of a fiery explosion unscathed. Most of the brawls seem unprovoked, making the frequent use of switchblades even more ridiculous. The motorcycle gangs seem obsessed with inventing trouble.

Director Joseph Kahn makes his feature-film debut with “Torque,” having dabbled only in music videos before. The tight shots he frequently uses are great for Britney Spears’ face, but slightly annoying in this context. The rapid-moving backgrounds used to accentuate the speed of the motorcycles are motion-sickness-inducing and distract from the action of the scene. Some of the speed scenes are exciting without all of the special-effect extras, though, such as a race car pushing 140 miles per hour down a highway with two motorcycles flanking it on both sides.

This bloodless action film fails because it cannot even rely on action to keep the audience interested. “Torque” falls short of the director’s goal to be the next great motorcycle chase movie. Although it doesn’t lack motorcycle chases or violence, nothing in the movie makes the story memorable. This silly film only serves to give motorcycle gangs a worse name.

“Torque” opens in theaters Friday.