Editorial: Casual Friday

Snakes on a Desk

An elementary school in Mississippi was rattled with surprise when a snake fell from a classroom ceiling during a lesson. The harmless, gray rat snake almost hit the teacher but landed on the desk instead.. Unfortunately, the snake was unable to slither its way out of this one. It was then expelled and received the death penalty with a snake repellent that ended its life. The children thought it was a serious punishment for simply wanting to learn geometry. “That’s one way to snake things up a bit,” one child said.

Emergency Mowing Technician

An EMT in California had to make some unplanned cuts along the way to saving an 87-year-old man. The unidentified man passed out in his yard while mowing the lawn when the EMT came to the rescue. After the man refused to go to the hospital, a neighbor and his wife brought him inside to rest. To the wife’s surprise, she saw the same EMT finishing up the lawn-mowing job. Not being able to operate on the man, clearly the lawn was his next best option. It may not be as cutting edge an operation, but it sufficed. Luckily for the fainting grass-cutter, he got the best of both lawns that day.

I see London, I see France

You can’t have any reservations when eating out at a new restaurant coming to London this summer. The restaurant, which allows people to eat their meals completely naked, will be dropping its cloak very soon. The Bunyadi will offer its customers an entirely natural eating experience, where everything will be fresh, unadulterated and liberated from the trappings of modern life — no phones, no electric lights and, of course, no clothing. It could be an unappetizing experience, depending on who you dine with. But fret not, there will be a clothing section for those not willing to bare it all. The restaurant already has a waiting list of 10,000 people, most of them are eager to skip some bases on a first date. You can order sausages, dressed-down salads and all kinds of Instagram-worthy meals. It’s sure to give a whole new meaning to naked lunch.

Beggin Bacon

A 36-year-old man was thinkin’ Arby’s when he decided to jump over the fast-food chain’s counter and demand food from its employees. The man claimed he was from a time four years in the future and that in the future, rushing the counter was the norm for getting food. He ran away with some bacon and chicken clutched to his side and was seen pigging out before he booked it to kick the car of a passerby. It wasn’t long before the hungry visitor from the future had to “meat” the strong arm of the law. He was arrested, but was it worth it? If you’re going to jump the counter at Arby’s, at least get some curly fries.

Détachable Oui Oui

It looks like Hercules will be getting a good ol’ beheading — but one slightly more south. French locals could not get enough of Hercules’ statue, given the reports that people had been stealing his penis over the years by breaking it off and running away with it.  Mayor Yves Foulon resolved the ongoing issue by keeping Hercules privates private with a prosthetic removable penis made for ceremonies and special events. Some may see this as emasculating, but at least he doesn’t have to worry about getting it up for special occasions.