Don’t succumb to finals blues

With finals approaching, our columnist set out to put her end-of-year advice to poetic wisdom. Read on for helpful hints to overcoming your finals woes.

For 15 weeks you’ve held on,

to everything that seems of importance,

but the weekend that falls before week 16

amounts to little, if any, substance.

Rather than worry and grumble,

stay strong and hold back the tears.

The days are dwindling down,

and the end will soon be near.

To some, this is the last of the last.

For others, just the beginning.

No matter where you’re at,

you’re sure to come out winning.

But only if you remember

to take care of yourself

inside and out,

ensuring good health.

So you can pass

your finals

and graduate

(Hopefully).

Helpful hint No. 1:

If you’ve not started studying,

get to it soon,

but not without

finding what works for you.

If you learn visually,

try diagrams and graphs.

This is especially helpful

if you study terrible things like math.

Maybe study the lines and numbers,

then explain them with words.

And if you know them in that direction,

try again, but backwards.

For those who study fun things

like politics and people,

try drawing connections between

things that are deceitful

or illegal

or equal.

And all of you pre-med majors,

young, old, exhausted and sullen,

it never hurts to print out the entire body

and label each part and function.

If you study art or writing, chances are

you’ve been working on your final all semester.

So I pray you’ve been going hard,

but if not, fall term may go better.

Helpful hint No. 2:

If there’s one thing I’ve learned

in intro to psych,

it’s that sleep is important

and something we all like.

It’s good for more than resting your body. 

It’s great for memory consolidation, 

storage and retrieval, 

which is useful 

for retaining a meaningful education.

Chances are you won’t be sleeping much.

Nourishing your body properly

will help decrease stress,

and that brings me to…

Helpful hint No. 3: 

Stay away from stress foods

like burgers and fries.

And yucky things like kelp,

their true benefits are lies.

Instead, try finer foods like blueberries,

green tea and fish. 

Munch on almonds, carrots

and avocados—

Just don’t eat too much. 

But be sure to hydrate. 

That’ll help you concentrate, too.

And when something new clicks, 

reward yourself with some dark chocolate!

This finals week, I wish you the best of luck.

Eat, sleep and drink (water).

You’ve come so far, don’t short yourself now.

In just a week, you’ll leave and be proud.

Rebecca Peters writes satirical and political columns for The Pitt News.

Write to Rebecca at rcp30@pitt.edu.