Editorial: Casual Fridays

Extra Espresso, please

A new heavy-duty coffee drink is making its (g)rounds in the caffeine world. Much to Starbucks’ dismay, Australian cafe owner Steve Benington crafted a new coffee which he claims to be 80 times stronger than espresso called “The A**kicker.” The Aussie barista says it can keep you awake for 18 hours and must be drunk slowly over three to four hours. Otherwise, prepare for potential health issues including the shakes, sweats and potential heart problems. Nevertheless, college students and caf-fiends are lining up to taste the turbo coffee. We’ve bean meaning to try it, but uncertain if it will be a cup of woah, or a cup of no.

Poo-haul

An unexpected crash in Michigan raised nostrils this week when a U-haul truck collided with a tanker truck on an interstate highway. In the crash, the truck unloaded the “human waste” it was carrying and dumped all over three lanes of the road. The publicly funded pooper scooper saved the day by using sand to soak up the waste so that it could be removed efficiently, though it might be hard to flush down the drain. Either way, you can bet traffic was crappy that day. Next time, the tanker truck will wipe before he wipes out.

Fired revenge

As she was burning with revenge, a 19-year-old woman, Carmen Chamblee, was arrested this week for setting her ex-boyfriend’s car on fire. Little did she know, the white car did not belong to her ex-boyfriend. Florida police caught her in the act and charged her with second degree arson. The reasons behind her crime remain unknown, but she mentioned a heated argument with her hot-headed boyfriend. The stranger who’s down a car is without a doubt in a fiery mood now. It could’ve been a good music video, but there were no winners at play here, just hot wheels.

Skyrim bender

An 11-year old boy went to GameStop to buy a videogame, but accidentally found a different kind of “deal.” Once the boy bought Skyrim, he opened the package to find a baggie with an unknown substance. His father took it to the Louisiana police and made it crystal clear that it was methamphetamine. The father underestimated how addicting the game would be. But he was glad he didn’t meth it up. Unfortunately, when the kid tried trading it in, Gamestop still only offered him $3.

Leg-go

Marc Cronin may be the only person excited to step on a Lego. The 32-year-old man was diagnosed with Type 2 diabetes. Complications led to an amputation of his left leg, so he needed a prosthetic replacement. Since it would take weeks to have the prosthetic made, the man built himself a replacement limb out of Lego. Using his daughter’s Lego set, he chose one engineering advancement that will never be outdated. Talk about building yourself up.