Editorials

Top 10 questions Chris Wallace should’ve asked at the debate

Our weekly Top Ten is brought to you by the writers of Pitt Tonight and The Pitt News Editorial Board.

In last night’s third and final presidential debate, we saw some interruptions and slight jabs, but overall, a strong and surprisingly composed performance from Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton.

In contrast to NBC’s Lester Holt’s hands-off approach and CNN’s Anderson Cooper and ABC’s Martha Raddatz’s badgering, moderator Chris Wallace of Fox News may have been the strongest moderator of the three debates. But there are a few very important questions he happened to miss out on.

Here are the top ten questions Chris Wallace should’ve asked at the debate:

  1.     “Are you registered to vote at your campus address?”

Everyone else has been asking this question. How could Wallace have missed it? We have to know in case the election turns out to be rigged.

  1.     “Which member of One Direction are you?”

The GOP may be breaking apart faster than Zayn’s departure, but we want to see who can talk the pillow talk and walk the pillow walk.

  1.     “Am I being impartial enough?”

No, really. Because I can be more unbiased if you want.

  1.     “Who, in your honest opinion, let the dogs out?”

He asked about the emails, audiotapes and leaked records. But honestly, the question has gone unanswered since 2000.

  1.     “How would you define your relationship with Bill Clinton?”

Strictly political? Sexual? Uncordial? Facebook friends? Once in love but now you’re only with him because it’s politically convenient? LinkedIn buds? Poker buddies? Friends with benefits? The American people need details.

  1.     “What is your favorite animal in the hit Broadway show, ‘Cats?’”

Whoever gets this right will almost certainly be the next president.

      7.  Will you stand by the #freethenipple movement?
We’ve heard the movement is trying to sponsor a candidate in the next election cycle. Could be some serious competition for the incumbent.

      8. “The blue power suit: Who wore it better?”

And maybe more importantly, when will the pussy bow return?

  1.     “Would you let in refugees from across the Boulevard?”

Caught in the depths of South O, some say they could smuggle in Penn State students, while others say they are mostly yinzers and children. How will you settle this dispute?

  1.  “Why, God? Why?”

 

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