Top 10: Trump Cabinet Picks

As President-elect Donald Trump’s picks for his cabinet become finalized, so has criticism for his choices. Even though he promised to #DrainTheSwamp, Trump instead dove right in, selecting a team of political insiders, millionaires and billionaires. Hoping to offer our 45th president some guidance, here are our picks for some of Trump’s cabinet posts. You’ll note that not a single one of them has experience directly related to the positions, but that doesn’t really matter anymore does it?

1. Tony Hawk — Secretary of Skate

World class skating career, great video games, sick shoes. Possibly the most qualified person for the job, ever?

2. Snoop Dogg — Department of “Agriculture”

You know what we mean.

3. Smaug, the gold-hoarding dragon from “The Hobbit” — Secretary of the Treasury

Who better to protect Alexander Hamilton’s legacy?

4. The Cast of “Homeland” — Secretary of Homeland Security

We’ve never seen the show either. But they say names are destiny.

5. HGTV — Secretary of the Interior

The “Property Brothers” could really do some good. And “House Hunters” could really shake up those Washington insiders. Have we considered flipping the White House? A new coat of paint and some modern design updates and it might turn a nice profit in this housing market.

6. Pat, the Smart House from the hit Disney movie “Smart House” — Secretary of Housing and Urban Development

(Also: Did you know Smart House was directed by LeVar Burton? Yes, the guy from “Reading Rainbow.” Who knew?)

7. The 54C Port Authority bus — Secretary of Transportation

It’s there when you need it — except when it isn’t.

8. A really good midwife — Secretary of Labor

Push! Push! Breathe.  

9. Shaquille O’Neal — Department of Health & Human Services

He endorses Icy Hot AND Gold Bond. Plus he’s been in really good shape before.

10. Principal Trunchbull from the hit movie, “Matilda” — Secretary of Education

Because literally anyone is less terrifying than Betsy DeVos.