Opinions

Top 10 Things You May Have Missed in Obama’s Farewell Address

President Obama left us with a few final thoughts during his farewell address in Chicago Tuesday night. His iconic themes of hope and change were scattered among his warnings for the future. We’ve seen video clips and screenshots circulating social media of some of his greatest lines — praising Michelle and Joe Biden, asking Americans to maintain hope, tearing up a little at his time as POTUS — but we haven’t heard any buzz about these moments during the speech. Here’s a list of the top 10 things you may have missed in Obama’s farewell address.

  1. Obama ziplined onto the stage to the Wu-Tang Clan’s “Bring Da Ruckus”

We’ve seen him sing, we’ve seen him dance, we’ve even seen him hold cue cards for Lin Manuel Miranda to rap to, but we hadn’t seen him do this before. His performance was only slightly diminished by all the censoring bleeps.

  1. Obama took credit for moon shoes

We might have to check the timeline on this one. But if Trump gets to take credit for the economy, Obama should get something, however nonsensical.

  1. It took Obama 26 minutes in the middle of his speech to set up the drums for his solo

You might have missed it because Joe Biden was busy tuning up his bass and blowing the dust off of his harmonica. We didn’t really mind — we’ll cherish all the time we have left with both of them.

  1. Obama name-dropped Nike Jordans and the Wendy’s Baconator

He’s getting a head start on those sweet, post-presidency endorsement deals. No word on whether he’s also going to partner with Ray-Ban.

  1. Obama revealed he is one half of Daft Punk … and Biden is the other

Honestly, if you think about it hard enough, it makes perfect sense.

  1. Joe Biden snuck away to steal all of the Slim Jims from the snack counter

They were just sitting there, all the cashiers went to watch the speech. What did you think he was going to do?

  1. Obama produced an extra longform birth certificate

It was printed on an ancient scroll that tumbled down the front of the stage. Guess he thought he could get one last joke in — it even listed his birthplace as Nairobi, Kenya. Remember when this was a controversy? Oh, the good old days.

  1. Obama totally foreshadowed giving Biden the Presidential Medal of Freedom

He said ‘freedom’ seven times, ‘President’ seven times and ‘the’ 214 times. Could he have given us a bigger clue?

  1. Obama endorses Michelle for 2020

We know, she said she wouldn’t run. Then she said it again. Then she started just shaking her head at the rallying cries for her inevitable campaign. But it turns out she was just waiting to shock us all. Campaign slogan: “Let’s move!”

  1. Obama finishes his speech by reading lyrics to “The Climb” by Miley Cyrus in its entirety

“It’s always gonna be an uphill battle,” he sang. “Somebody’s gonna have to lose.” Then he looked directly at Hillary.

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