Casual Fridays

A late night stab

Last month, an Ohio resident didn’t dance around a serious salsa issue with her husband. Phyllis Jefferson and her husband, Ronnie D. Buckner, did what any reasonable couple would do on a Sunday night — get into a red-hot debate over who finished the snack. Things took a dip for the worse, though, when Jefferson stabbed her husband in the groin with a pen. After detaining Jefferson, authorities uncovered quite the scoop — Jefferson previously threatened to stab her husband for double-dipping. When Jefferson reportedly asked her husband for forgiveness, Bucker said, “I’m nacho husband anymore.”

Jell-O slots

Say goodbye to waiting long hours for your Jell-O shots to solidify. Make your friends Jell-Ous in 2016 with Jevo, the automatic Jell-O shot machine. Similar to a Keurig, it can produce 20 Jell-O shots in 10 minutes. The Jell-O slots will make their sugary splash at the Nightclub and Bar Show in Las Vegas this coming March. What happens in Vegas won’t stay in Vegas, though. If Jevo does well, the Jell-O shot maker will surely jiggle its way into bars on college campuses.

Who cut the cheese?

If hell had a smell, Emi Mamiya would think it resembled what her husband left in their bathroom during a potty session Sunday afternoon. The stink — coupled with her husband’s attempt to pass his toilet wisdom to their 3-year-old toddler without washing his hands — led Mamiya to slash her husband’s face. Mamiya claims she wasn’t trying to kill her husband, she was just trying to join in by cutting the cheese.

Rock, paper, citation

This weekend, a teenage girl decided to take her fate into her own hands. The teen, who authorities alleged had been drinking at a Texas music festival, narrowly avoided a citation when she played rock against an officer’s scissors. So, for future reference — in a game of rock, paper, citation, always go rock. 

Up in smoke

Florida just got a little hotter. Last Wednesday, one Floridian decided to “bring the heat” and burn a hole in his neighbor’s wallet. Mohammed Almarri, in a wave of fiery passion, broke into his neighbor’s apartment, forced him to retreat to the balcony and microwaved his wallet. Looks like someone messed up making hot pockets by a long shot.