Expand party playlists for optimum raging experience

It’s almost syllabus week, and we’re all just trying to party before the semester of…It’s almost syllabus week, and we’re all just trying to party before the semester of deadlines and term papers. And you, of course, want to be the guy or girl throwing the party with the music that’ll please both your new acquaintances and old friends.

But honestly, how do you know what the cute girl with the eyebrow piercing you met in Intro to Economics listens to? You don’t, but you did invite her to the so-called “banger” you’re throwing tonight in your South Oakland apartment.

Do you want to be the person who throws on the party mix Pandora playlist, a host who subjects party guests to the nadir of American music, also known as the Top 40? Or how about the hipster who throws on the obscure music that no one has heard about? Because, you know, that’ll really bring people together.

No. You want to be the person who has a little bit of music for everyone, even the Jager-bombing metal head in the Slayer T-shirt.

But before we get too heavy for you hipsters, let’s take care of the basics.

You need a playlist that creates a natural progression for the night, so you don’t want the songs that people drunkenly sing along to playing at 9:30 p.m. That’s bad timing, and with so many parties to choose from, people aren’t going to stick around if the music gives off the wrong vibe at the wrong times.

For starters, turn off shuffle. You’re better than that.

Start your playlist with a pregaming mix. You have at least an hour before the random party-goers start showing up and judging you for your musical tastes, so take advantage of the time.

Of course, the first people who show up are going to be the guys in their Walmart-purchased band T-shirts who are super pumped to go to their first college party. Make them happy with some old party favorites from a better generation — like some Led Zeppelin, Rush or Boston. Everyone loves Boston.

Now the party’s growing, your guests are feeling good and the sorority hopefuls just walked through the door. They’ll have none of your classic rock goodness, so appease their minds with some chronic hits.

The Notorious B.I.G.’s “Hypnotize,” Tupac’s “California Love” and Dr. Dre’s “Nuthin but a ‘G’ Thang” all keep the tempo up without prematurely sending the party into dance mode.

And when your guests are past the self-conscious stage, move them to the dance floor with songs like Ludacris’ “What’s your Fantasy” or Jay-Z and Kanye West’s “Ni**as in Paris.”

After a few hours of dancing, Jello shots and overtly sexual jams, your party-goers are ready to sing. Just make sure you pick songs that even the most anti-social 21-year-old knows the words to, like Bon Jovi’s “Livin’ on a Prayer” or Journey’s “Don’t Stop Believin’.” You can also throw in some of those songs from the awkward middle-school-dance days, like a catchy Blink-182 song or some Dookie-era Green Day.

But now you’ve reached the tricky part of playlist creation. Your guests are close, comfortable and singing overplayed ’80s tunes, so how do you elevate the party from here? Do you slow it down, giving your guests a chance to couple up and leave?

No. This is your party, and you’re showing no signs of slowing down.

With the people looking for the laid-back rap hits already departed for their inscense-burning-friend’s house and the dancing girls off to some frat, you have only the metal heads and late-night drinkers to please.

Throw on the Slayer! The guy single-handedly killing your Jager handle has been burning for some West Coast thrash all night.

And what better way to keep the party moshing into the darkened streets of South Oakland than “Madhouse” by thrash giant Anthrax or “Devirgination Studies” by death-metal monsters Whitechapel?

There is none. Party on people, and keep off the Pandora.