Batko: Fantasy football players should practice moderation

Green Bay Packers wide receiver Jordy Nelson hauls in a 30-yard touchdown pass with 23 seconds…Green Bay Packers wide receiver Jordy Nelson hauls in a 30-yard touchdown pass with 23 seconds left in the game. He’s on your fantasy team, so you cheer. Except — oh wait — you just lost.

This is just one of many imbroglios (yes, I just used the word “imbroglio” in a fantasy football column, please don’t stop reading) that can — and will — arise when you have too many fantasy football teams. Nelson’s touchdown grab might help one of your teams, but could simultaneously mean death for another.

And that’s nothing compared to the age-old conundrum in which your allegiances to your real-life favorite NFL teams and players are tested, thanks to fantasy football.

Let’s face it, anyone who’s ever played fantasy football has become obsessed with it, and the popularity of the game continues to rise at an unbelievable rate.

For some, the craze has gone a bit too far. I’m talking to you, guy who owns nine different fantasy football teams in eight different leagues.

Seriously, if it’s not too late, keep the teams to a minimum. One is ideal. Two is acceptable. Three is really starting to push the envelope. Any more than three embodies the exact type of goofy fantasy football behavior I’m talking about.

First off, it results in the irritating and unavoidable aforementioned conflicts of interest. It’s already difficult enough to try and reconcile your fantasy football rooting interests with those of the team you cheer for in real life.

If you’re a Denver Broncos fan playing against your pseudo-friend from high school who used to date your current girlfriend and owns Peyton Manning, let’s face it — you’re probably rooting for Manning to have an awful game, despite your Broncos spirit.

It’s just not a fun situation, provided you’re a somewhat normal human being that does not enjoy inescapable disappointment. And when the fantasy football gods decide they really hate you, that’s when Manning throws for five touchdowns and 400 yards and the Broncos still somehow lose.

To avoid getting blindsided by the fantasy-related issue that arises when playing in too many leagues too often, do yourself a favor and remind yourself now that your team will inevitably suck in the league that you care about the most.

It’s almost an absolute certainty that the league you’re in “just for fun” will naturally be the one that your team dominates (probably because you decided to make a waiver claim on a whim for some guy named “Richard Goodman” after he had a nice week once, and then he ends up destroying all comers henceforth), while the league that you have sunk your life savings into for the eighth year in a row becomes a hopeless proposition by week four.

No matter how bad it gets, your fantasty struggles don’t give you a license to project your pain onto others. I long for a world in which telling others about your fantasy football team ad nauseam results in the offender becoming a social pariah. The majority of the time, very few people, if any, care that if your kicker didn’t get hurt in the third quarter, you totally would’ve gotten your first win this week. By midseason, I can almost assure you that none of your friends give a rat’s behind how lucky your opponent was to have beaten you.

Essentially, controlling fewer teams gives you a greater ability to fight the urge to be that guy that bores and annoys friends and acquaintances alike with your endless fantasy football anecdotes.

To wrap things up, ignore everything I just said if you’re one of those individuals that play in online Yahoo leagues with random people just for kicks. I abhor you. There is absolutely no saving you, and may god have mercy on your soul.