Concert étiquette controls rowdy audiences

You paid your money. You should get to see the show.

But you could be in a theater with… You paid your money. You should get to see the show.

But you could be in a theater with assigned seating, behind an overly enthusiastic attendee whose hands remain firmly in the air in the way of the leader singer. It’s fine. You always did like staring at the bassist anyway.

With all your free time this summer, there’s no doubt you’ll try to get your grubby little hands on as many concert tickets are possible. There’s also little doubt that you’ll encounter rude concert-goers who make the show a less-than-perfect experience that fails to meet your expectations.

Concert etiquette has a contingent set of rules by which viewers should abide. Here’s some advice that will help you avoid being the person who ruins the show and teach you how to deal with the aforementioned rude concert-goer.

Over-enthusiasm

One time, at a concert in a theater where you’re trapped in your seats, I saw a man who held his arms in the upright position for the whole concert, screaming “WOO” nonstop. Unfortunately, the band was The Decemberists and not White Snake in 1987, so everyone else watching the show wasn’t into his obnoxious display of fandom.

He promised he’d put his hands down — “after the opener,” “after this song” — myriad times but never did. And though it only really bothered the girl directly behind him, she couldn’t see at all and it ruined the entire concert.

Don’t be that guy.

How to deal with that guy: Politely ask him to keep his hands down. Chances are if he’s this riled up in a crowd of indie music lovers, he’s a powder keg. If you’ve implored and he hasn’t obliged, ask a bit more firmly. If he starts to make you nervous, ask a nearby security guard to help convince him.

One note: If you’re not at a venue where you’re trapped in your seat, avoid the conflict entirely by moving.

Dancing

Even the worst dancers who have no rhythm get to dance at shows. As long as you don’t mind the potentiality that you’ll be the next viral video to hit the web, you can do whatever you’d like, barring one thing.

You can’t dance in a way that ruins everyone else’s time. Trying to start a mosh pit at a Damien Rice concert? I think not.

How to deal with dancing: It’s likely that if you’re in a venue where people are thrashing about, there’s space to move. Do so.

Clapping

Personally, I think the clap is like some sort of unseemly plague that rips through a concert population (bah dum tish). But that’s just a personal sentiment. Most people enjoy clapping during a concert because it makes them feel like a part of the show. And besides, back-up singers even march to the front of the stage just to start a clap.

Fine, indulge. Just be aware of what type of concert you’re attending — and the extent of your rhythmic abilities. If you have bear claws that crack like thunder with every clap and you are on-par rhythmically with the species, you should consider abstaining from spontaneous claps (i.e. claps the band didn’t start).

Clapping is especially out of line when the whole audience gets into it right before a time change that leads them to all awkwardly slap their palms together cacophonously, desperately trying not to lose the beat.

How to deal with clapping: Grin and bear it because people who otherwise never engage in music pursuits love clapping.

Dressing

This is more of an individualistic thing. Dress however you like, but if you’re the kind of person who’s easily embarrassed by sticking out, you may want to plan your outfit selection to mesh with the concert crowd.

I have a friend who once went to a concert with a guy without looking up the group beforehand. She wore floral. It was a metal show.

How to deal with dressing: Figure out what kind of band you’re seeing and go from there. Look at photos from past shows, and decide what is best for you to adorn during the show. And if you don’t mind sticking out, then dress away!

Smoking/Drinking

Once, at a concert, the girl next to me took a final sip of her last of many beers and promptly vomited. It was a pretty fast way to make space at an otherwise crowded show, but it was also very gross.

There’s nothing wrong with drinking — if you’re of age — at a concert, but try not to get so drunk that you harsh everyone else’s mellow. Excessive drinking can ruin any evening, but it can completely destroy a show for you and your fellow concert-goers.

As far as smoking goes, some places have designated areas, some don’t. Like anywhere else, don’t blow it in people’s faces — unless they’re into that kind of thing.

How to deal with smoking: Depending on the band you’re seeing, there may be several kinds of smoke mingling just north of your nostrils. If you’re bothered by it, you might have to wander your way to the back of the venue. Frankly, there’s no way to get that many people to stop smoking for your delicate nose.

There are many complications that could continue to arise while attending a concert, but the key to a successful show is letting go and enjoying the music.