Sex Edition: Rules for college sex from Towers to showers

Whether you live in one of Pitt’s many residence halls or in off-campus housing, you are now… Whether you live in one of Pitt’s many residence halls or in off-campus housing, you are now in possession of opportunities that were closed off while you were living with your parents. You are finally free.

Without that parental oversight, the word “freedom” is newly defined. But even so, there are still rules on how you should conduct yourself — especially when sex is involved. Though they don’t form an exhaustive list of recommendable sex regulations for a university environment, there are three basic guidelines that, if entertained, should prevent your sex life from negatively impacting your social life. Our scope here is narrowed to dorm room sex, dealing with roommates and shower sex.

Sex etiquette in your dorm room isn’t something to sneeze at. You might have the room all to yourself, but don’t forget about residents in neighboring rooms. Those cream-colored walls might look thick, but they don’t do much as far as stopping sounds from escaping and exposing your extracurricular activities to everyone within a 50-foot radius.

Yes, the unmasked audio is how the RA knew you were drinking in your jail-cell-sized Towers room and wrote you up. Let’s be smart here — if that can be overheard, so can everything else.

Strangely enough, many of you might have tried solving this raucous problem by simply blasting music or turning on the TV. Both are quick fixes, seemingly allowing you to be as loud as possible while drowning out sounds of your love-making that might not be as pleasurable to others. Seems like a win-win, right? Not quite. Although you might be onto something with Ne-Yo’s hit single “Sexy Love” or the Auto-Tuned voice of top-hat-wearing Akon, pumping up their tracks instead of creating your own can still wake up those sleeping nearby. By being aware of your music, you can set the bar of how loud you can be just a little under the songs’ volume and successfully keep the cacophony contained.

This applies to those living in off-campus housing as well. Your room is not like Vegas; what happens in there does not always stay there, especially when you’ve got paper-thin walls like those in many Oakland houses and apartments. Keeping things quiet isn’t always as fun, but when others are around it’s a sign of courtesy and respect.

Just as you take your roommates and those around you seriously, you should also make sure to consider the thoughts of your partner. Not all of us are comfortable with the whole world knowing we’ve decided to engage in such an intimate act; indulging in privacy is one way to ensure a fun, relaxing time. If you’re still living in a dorm room, there isn’t always much you can do about your roommate. Nobody wants to be “sexiled,” but every once in a while it’s OK to ask for a little privacy. Make sure not to take advantage of your roommate’s kindness either; your roommate is doing you a favor.

Those of you that live off campus have it much easier. With your own room, privacy can be garnered at any time by simply shutting your door. However, if your roommates are home, you might need to ensure that they don’t interrupt your time with your partner. Don’t shy away from telling those that you live with that the two of you are going to be busy for a while and need your space. Trust me, it’s better than the alternative. This also applies to roommates that might soon be returning home. You don’t want to blind your roommate; a simple text-message heads-up and you’re home free.

One last rule to heed involves the slippery pastime of shower sex. A tricky subject, shower sex is something that can be a lot of fun but could also get you in a lot of trouble. For those of you in the dorms, it’s just not worth it. The slap-on-the-wrist fine may not be enough to turn you away, but thinking of kids covering the shower stall in puke every weekend might. Not to mention the multitude of strangers who wash the grime off their bodies there on a daily basis — hardly a romantic setting. If you do decide to take the chance, at least make sure there’s no one in the shower next to you.

Off-campus shower sex can be a bit more complicated. While the bathroom of an apartment or house is far more private than that of a dorm, if you’re living with roommates, it’s still not always fair game. The thought of your roommate defiling your shower is almost as bad as the image of a puke-covered residence hall shower stall (or at least enough to make you cover your own shower in vomit). Set up some guidelines with those you live with so that you know if the shower is off limits. Either way, make sure to clean your shower regularly.

You don’t need me to quote Aretha Franklin to tell you that respect is key to any kind of healthy relationship; keep others in mind and you won’t have any problems.