Five new reasons to vote in 2016

The 2016 presidential election will dramatically delight as the Bush and Clinton dynasties battle for the throne and attempt to socially and politically execute anyone who stands in the way. 

Despite efforts from the Bush and Clinton teams, other candidates do exist for your choosing, and looking past e-mails or hanging chads could help you decide who is most capable of presiding over this great nation. But let’s be real, the true benefits do not come from what you can do by voting, but what voting can do for you.

1. Voting increases the value of your high school and college diplomas.

Education is key in helping voters make informed decisions at the polls. According to College Board, a higher level of education makes you more likely to vote. According to College Board, 29 percent of people 18-24 with a high school diploma voted in the 2012 Presidential election, compared to 63 percent of bachelor degree holders. So for those of you currently in college and on your way to graduation, congratulations. You’re more likely to vote. But should you? With the new job, you will be stressing and figuring out relationships and living arrangements. Is it in your best interest to spend hours researching each candidate and make the time to get to the polls? Yes, it is. If you decide not to vote, what was the point of that introductory American politics class you took to fulfill a general education requirement? You cannot let that knowledge go to waste. You need to live up to your family’s expectations by pretending you are using your education and still voting exactly as they want you to. 

2.  Your presence will become more important in your high-class friend group.

According to a study completed by political scientists Martin Gilens and Benjamin Page, economic elites vote more. Therefore, policies adopted or struck down by the government better reflect the elite’s preferences. Average citizens, regardless of whether they represent the majority, will never get what they want. What this means is that all of your friends who are highly invested in the politics of this nation will regard your presence as more important and influential, but only if you agree with them and say the exact same things they do. Like with public policy, attempting to change the status quo will only result in failure, so save face and conform in order to become everything you wish you were.

3.  You will learn to love Hillary.

Despite her recent e-mail controversy, Hillary Clinton is not as bad as your uncultured, shallow mind thinks she is. Even though she has not yet declared herself a candidate, it is still wise to make sure everyone knows how much you adore her. And for good reason—she is a real stickler for maintaining congruent policy preferences, so much so that when the winds of marijuana legalization and gay marriage changed course, she went right with them, re-evaluating her stances on both at the convenient times of June and July 2014—decisions  that I am sure had nothing to do with increasing her potential voter audience. I’m sure she truly believes in these ideas. If elected, she will make the most of your vote and become the first, best and worst female president yet. 

4. Loving Hillary will mean hating Jeb.

But in all honesty, he isn’t even that great of a guy. While managing to receive a nomination from the Republican party as well as handling criticism for being a little too liberal on immigration, some seem to have forgotten the worst thing about the man: His name! He’s a Bush! If you know anything about politics, you know how detrimental a family name can be to a candidate. Having the same last name as someone obviously forces your every action to mirror theirs in intent and consequence. Voting in the 2016 election will allow you to finally exemplify your openness to real change and support for the minority. 

5. Your elected official will respect your efforts by keeping all promises.

Looking past the interests of the economic elites who buy your representative’s votes, know that your opinions, your needs and your wants are very important to your representative. Making sure to follow every account of your preferred candidate’s policy platform will prove worthy of your time because, after they get elected into office, they will in no way change their platform. Promises to change immigration policy and provide health care reform on social media, during debates and at press conferences are all legally binding. The honest and unbiased media are actually responsible for holding representatives, including the president, accountable, while those who voted can sit back, relax and take approval surveys online to make their happiness — or unhappiness — as clear as possible.

The 2016 presidential election is still a political lifetime away, but I wanted to make sure you all knew how to plan accordingly to ensure proper success. Make sure that, when talking politics, you refrain from talking completely honestly about what you believe in so as not to offend your closest friends. They would never look past an opposing belief if they were your true friend anyway. 

So pay attention and register to vote. It just might make a difference.

Rebecca Peters writes satirical and political columns for The Pitt News.

Write to Rebecca at rcp30@pitt.edu.