Sex Edition: Bodies issues keep some people’s sex life in the dark

Many people hide body issues in the dark.

“An estimated 65 to 70 percent of women prefer to… Many people hide body issues in the dark.

“An estimated 65 to 70 percent of women prefer to have sex with the lights off, while 35 percent of men like doing it in the dark,” said John Beiter, a sex therapist certified by the American Association of Sexuality Educators, Counselors and Therapists.

Body issues concern both men and women. They can be fueled by the media, eating disorders and common misconceptions. Often, they affect an individual’s life as well as his or her sexual practices.

“Women generally desire to be thin and have a bigger bust size, which can result in eating disorders and numerous cosmetic surgery procedures. Men tend to want to look muscular, especially in the upper body, but still appear thin,” said Irene Frieze, a professor of psychology, business administration and women’s studies at Pitt.

These issues can often serve as the reasons that someone getting down and dirty with a partner might prefer the safety of the shadows.

“If one feels embarrassed about their body, they would not want their partner to see their body naked,” she said.

A woman is more likely than a man to worry about her weight and find herself sexually unattractive, making her more self-conscious during sexual intimacy.

“Our culture has tried to define and describe what a correct body image is supposed to be. My experience is that it affects women more than men,” Beiter said.

One of the darkest potential implications of body-image issues are eating disorders. Although they affect both sexes, women are more frequently impacted by the disorders.

Jennifer Wildes, an assistant professor of psychiatry and psychology at Pitt who also works at UPMC’s Western Psychiatric Institute and Clinic, explained that many women feel overweight or dislike parts of their bodies. Eating disorders, however, can become a far more extreme issue.

Symptoms of anorexia nervosa include low weight, restricted food intake, excess exercising and, in some cases, forced vomiting and laxative use. Bulimia nervosa typically affects those in normal and high-normal to overweight weight ranges, and its symptoms include binging and purging.

“These feelings are often not solely about appearance but also based on certain personality traits. Very often people with an eating disorder exhibit depression or anxiety,” Wildes said. Losing and controlling weight could assist in decreasing these feelings.

“In the world of things that they can define themselves as, weight and shape take up a huge part of their lives,” Wildes said.

The concerns consuming men’s thoughts are often less focused on actual body image.

“If anything for men, it is penis size and less about weight,” Beiter said.

Normally men are more preoccupied with their performance and have strange perceptions of how long they should maintain an erection.

In order to change negative personal views, Beiter recommends a healthy, holistic approach. He said getting the proper amount of rest, exercise and nutrition are the places to start when working to gain a more positive outlook. But, Beiter said, the biggest concern should be education to reduce the perpetuation of feelings of judgement.

“We need to get rid of the myths,” Beiter said.