Lyons: Savoring the college lifestyle

While dancing in a sea of intoxicated college students at the Avicii concert two weeks ago, a… While dancing in a sea of intoxicated college students at the Avicii concert two weeks ago, a troubling thought struck me: Opportunities like this aren’t going to be around forever.

Unfortunately, there are certain activities college students shouldn’t take for granted. The following is a list of behaviors we can engage in only right now; to do so as adults, after all, would all but force social services to take away our children.

Pregame … Well, Anything

The stereotype that college students consume large quantities of alcohol is certainly not true for everyone, but we all have that one friend who’s always psyched to throw down on a random Wednesday night just to celebrate hump day. Contrary to what you might have learned in adolescence, however, it’s not socially acceptable to pound a couple of shots on your way to church at age 30. Only in college is it kosher to play Thumper until 2 a.m. or consider eight beers “taking it easy.” And those late-night pizza runs after a long night of fratting? Not as easy to pull off when you have a wife to sneak away from or kids to put to bed. Bonging a beer after you’re 25 is sure to put you out of commission and into bed for at least three days.

Experiment

College is a great time to take classes outside of your major so you can cultivate your interests and hobbies. Regrettably, you don’t have as much free time when you’re older. There’s a reason golf is only played during a few months of the year and girls’ night is considered a rare treat. Those lazy days when you watch four hours of “America’s Next Top Model” are numbered. There comes a day in every adult’s life when he has to put the GameCube controller down, stop playing “Super Smash Bros. Melee” tournaments and start focusing on his career and family. And, oh, what a sad day it will be.

Learn Things Differently

Tom Bodett once said, “In school, you’re taught a lesson and then given a test. In life, you’re given a test that teaches you a lesson.” Translation: The way you learn things in the real world is totally different. One of the reasons college is great is that we can ensure, by studying, that we know material well enough to pass a course. We can therefore skip every other class in an effort to rank up in “Battlefield 3,” and then cram during the last two weeks of the semester. Life after college isn’t so forgiving; you’re forced to learn things based on your mistakes. Those of you who bombed biology and anatomy may have the advantage of knowing the pain of failure better than the more scientifically competent.

Raves

Dayglow was created by and for college kids, not older people with jobs and responsibilities. Good luck enjoying it when you’re older and not blowing out your knee or herniating a disc. For those of you who attended (or remember attending) the event, try and recall if you saw anyone over the age of 30. Thankfully, even if you’re the most hardcore dubstepper, you’ll probably soon cease to appreciate loud Skrillex remixes and strangers throwing gallons of blue paint at your face.

Riot

While rioting is never really socially acceptable, recent developments at Penn State suggest it happens more often when college students are involved. It’s not considered particularly normal for non-college students to storm major streets when the Steelers win a Super Bowl or, more realistically, when Pitt athletics suffers a surprising loss. Likewise, you don’t often see older fans rush the court or the field during professional sporting events, probably because they’ll trip and get hurt or throw out their backs.

Hopefully this column has inspired you to capitalize on the time you have left at Pitt. Recognize that the money you or your parents pay contributes as much to the famed college experience as it does to your degree. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to see if I can take out some more loans for a fifth year here.

Contact Kel at kjl27@pitt.edu