Get rid of those warm, fuzzy feelings with holiday horror flicks

If you’re tired of your relatives and all this warm and fuzzy holiday cheer, I’ve got your… If you’re tired of your relatives and all this warm and fuzzy holiday cheer, I’ve got your solution right here: three holiday movies guaranteed to wash that sickly-sweet, happy-ending taste out of your mouth.

“ThanksKilling”

Thanksgiving just passed, but that 25 pounds of leftover turkey-zilla in your fridge isn’t going anywhere. And neither is the Turkey from “ThanksKilling.”

The action in this gem of a film is centered on five college students who are travelling home for Thanksgiving break. Their jeep breaks down, and they decide to “party” in a makeshift camp. It’s here that the nerd — because every character is a stereotype — explains a (supposedly true) Thanksgiving tale: Because a pilgrim dishonored him, an Indian named Feather Cloud “necromanced” a turkey to kill all white men, and it “roams the earth every 505 years.”

This tale was indeed true, and immediately after its telling, the aforementioned turkey begins his attempts to slay the students. He uses a variety of different weapons — axes, guns and the like — despite his lack of opposable thumbs. And he uses profane, misogynistic language despite his lack of lips. Chaos and violence ensue, and as the turkey kills the students one by one, the survivors try to avenge the deaths of their peers. All around, it lives up to what its title suggests.

Oh! And as a bonus, with the film’s $3,500 budget, its costume designers were able to buy the best fake moustaches around.

“Jack Frost”

This straight-to-video classic is not associated with the children’s lore that it implies. Maimed and genetically mutated in a car accident involving a radioactive-acid-hauling truck on his way to be executed, a serial killer combines with snow and becomes Jack Frost: killer snowman.

He wreaks havoc on the town called Snowmanton, killing and violating several people while shouting epic one-liners like, “Don’t eat yellow snow!” and “I’m the world’s most pissed off snow cone!”

A scientist explains to the sheriff that the killer who they are looking for has been combined with snow thanks to the acid the scientist developed to resurrect people’s souls in case of a nuclear holocaust. Right. So the police of Snowmanton fight back with logical weapons to slay snow, such as hair dryers and fire, but to no avail. In the end it is oatmeal — yes, oatmeal — that slays the frosty hit man. This oatmeal contained a special ingredient, but revealing it would be spoiling the fantastic ending.

Like all good horror films, “Jack Frost” has a sequel — “Jack Frost 2: Revenge of the Mutant Killer Snowman.” As if anyone who saw the first one — the only people who would seek out the sequel — would need the second part of the title as an explanation.

“Rare Exports: A Christmas Tale”

From Finland, with love, comes “Rare Exports.” It’s a jolly Santa Claus tale. Wait, scratch that — a jarring Santa Claus tale.

In this 2010 film, Americans — who sound like British people — drill into a mountain, which the lead scientist believes is the largest burial mound in the world. What the grave is for is soon determined.

Two Finnish boys who are members of the local village — the majority of whose inhabitants raise reindeer as their livelihood — watch the excavation. Mysteriously, all but two of their herd of deer is found dead.

One of the young boys does research on Santa and reads that long ago, an old tribe captured Santa — who is actually evil, contrary to the popular belief — froze him in a block of ice and buried him deep underground in the mountain.

And guess who the Americans are digging up … oh boy.

The rest of the movie depicts how the creature they think is Santa gets caught in one of the villager’s wolf traps and they plan to drop him off with the Americans.

With a twist ending — and thankfully a larger budget than some of these films — “Rare Exports” is sure not to disappoint.

Have happy Horrordays, everyone.