Weisel: Giving the ‘thumbs up’ a thumbs down

You see it everywhere. In fact, you’ve done it. You see it everywhere. In fact, you’ve done it. Someone says hi and you, in a fit of nervousness, sneak your hands into fists and put your fists in the air, thumbs straight up. Someone says hi, and you give him the double thumbs up.

It’s an action that we’ve been familiar with since childhood — we signaled that we were ready for the pitch during kickball at recess, we sneaked the thumbs up to our parents in the audience at dreaded band concerts, we even proudly displayed our thumbs to the kid next to us in class after successfully mixing baking soda and vinegar. But we’re adults now, and the double thumbs up needs to meet extinction.

Though the double thumbs up served multiple purposes when we were children, its uses have dwindled. Now we primarily employ the double thumbs up as a greeting, as a signal that we are doing well or sometimes as an unspoken thank you for a compliment. While these uses seem practical, they still need to be destroyed.

In order to deal with the double thumbs up, we must first deal with the source. Almost every situation in which the dreaded gesture appears involves one or both parties feeling uncomfortable, awkward or nervous. When that girl we barely knew on our floor freshman year asks how we’re doing, we flash the thumbs. When that cute guy in class tells us we did a good job on our presentation, we flash the thumbs. When the professor who just called us out for texting in class walks by, we flash the thumbs.

The solution to this problem is simple: Don’t get nervous. Or awkward. Or  uncomfortable. It’s like Barney Stinson says, “When I get sick, I just stop being sick and be awesome instead.” So just stop being awkward and just wave instead.

Let’s look at the basic logistics of the double thumbs up. This gesture is unsuitable for the modern college student. We have places to go, people to see and things to do — and most of those involve the use of at least one of our hands.

In those moments that you are giving a double thumbs up, your hands could be doing something so much more productive. Why not find the solution to pollution? Or build a better mousetrap? Or compose a symphony? Or maybe even shake the person’s hand? The possibilities are endless.

On a deeper level, the double thumbs up represents the degeneration of our generation. As kids, it meant nothing — it was merely a tool to communicate without speaking. But now that we are in the age of technology, the thumbs up has cultural implications that could harm our generation.

We are already obsessed with social media. We are attached at the hip to Facebook and Twitter, constantly updating and changing our lives to fit our media. Since Facebook added the “Like” button, the thumbs up has become a symbol associated with the site.

When we shoot up a thumb, especially both thumbs, we are no longer exercising our right to nonverbal communication. Instead, we are demonstrating the extreme integration of social media into our daily lives. This integration is a phenomenon we should be battling, not encouraging.

Lastly, the simplest reason the double thumbs up should be extinct: It looks stupid. Give yourself a double thumbs up. Hold it, stare at your thumbs, think really hard about what you’re doing, keep looking at your thumbs. Does it look stupid yet? Give it time, it will.

It seems unnatural to proudly display one finger above the others, particularly the shortest, fattest finger. The thumb should be the most self-conscious finger, not the most assertive. It looks silly to unveil not one but both of your thumbs to someone else, as if they are going to be impressed with the size of your thumbs or their particularly bulky muscles. While our thumbs are one of the most useful parts of our bodies, they serve no purpose when thrust into the air.

The extinction of the double thumbs up would not be traumatic. The action can easily be replaced with a number of acceptable hand gestures. For example, the wave is the most popular gesture for passing by a recognized person. It works for awkward encounters as well as welcome ones. If walking into a more formal situation, the handshake is a desirable gesture. You will appear comfortable and friendly, even if you are shaking in your boots. Each gesture only uses one of your hands, leaving the other free for productivity, neither holds any previous cultural implications and both look acceptable.

Honestly, any hand gesture — with a few obvious exceptions — is better than the thumbs up. So next time you flash a cheesy grin and go for the double thumbs up, think twice. There’s always a better way.

Use your thumbs productively. Write Elizabeth at eaw62@pitt.edu.