Saul: NFL coaches who should duke it out

As the clock wound down during Sunday’s NFL matchup between the Detroit Lions and the San… As the clock wound down during Sunday’s NFL matchup between the Detroit Lions and the San Francisco 49ers, a rare post-game scuffle broke out on the field.

Players fighting out their frustration is common during the final seconds of a game, but this quarrel was a rarity: It involved two coaches.

Tensions escalated when San Francisco head coach Jim Harbaugh gave Lions head coach Jim Schwartz a dismissive and aggressive handshake as he galloped around the field in celebration of the 49ers’ victory. Schwartz, not appreciating the gesture, ran Harbaugh down and bumped into him before players and referees separated the two.

Although no punches were thrown, this little scuffle got me wondering: What coaches would I like to see face off, and what would happen if they did?

The Family Feud: John Harbaugh vs. Jim Harbaugh

John Harbaugh — Baltimore Ravens

Age: 49

Height: Unknown

Weight: Unknown

Fighting career: Limited

Jim Harbaugh — San Francisco 49ers

Age: 47

Height: 6’ 3’’

Weight: 215 lbs

Fighting career: Harbaugh has thrown fists a few times in his playing career, most notably at former NFL superstar and Buffalo Bills quarterback Jim Kelly. Harbaugh broke his hand by punching Kelly, and so missed a big portion of the Colts’ season that year.

Winner: John Harbaugh has the “older brother” thing going for him, but Jim seems to be the one with the temper and the experience. When prompted on Sunday at the press conference about the post-game altercation Jim was involved in, John said he “used to win some” when they were younger. Comments like that don’t inspire confidence — I’ve got Jim Harbaugh taking care of business for all the younger brothers out there.

The Senior-center Smackdown: Mike Shanahan vs. Tom Coughlin

Mike Shanahan — Washington Redskins

Age: 59 (but looks 82)

Height: Hunched

Weight: Fragile

Fighting career: None. But Shanahan could stare down Mike Tyson until he brought the former heavyweight champ to tears.

Tom Coughlin — New York Giants

Age: 65

Height: Unknown

Weight: Unknown

Fighting career: Coughlin hasn’t had any physical confrontations that made it into the news, but he is notorious for being a hard-ass with players. Even Plaxico Burress — the Giants wideout who accidentally shot himself in the thigh — fears Coughlin’s wrath.

Winner: Neither of the two belongs in a fight, but they both boast the stoic and stone-cold faces of truly weathered NFL coaches. Coughlin played running back at Syracuse, the rough kind of upstate frigid area that makes me think he’s a hard-hitting cookie. I’ll take Coughlin in this one.

Note: Mike Shanahan does have two Super Bowl rings to Coughlin’s one, always an advantage in any fist-throwing competition.

The Heavyweight Battle: Andy Reid vs. Rex Ryan

Andy Reid — Philadelphia Eagles

Age: 53

Weight: My best guess? 380 lbs

Height: Probably around 6’

Fighting career: Reid is as soft as the Pillsbury Doughboy.

Rex Ryan — New York Jets

Age: 48

Weight: Last January, the New York Post reported that Ryan ingested 7,000 calories a day and weighed about 350 lbs.

Height: Doesn’t matter

Fighting career: Ryan has a few things going for him: 1) He’s a big-time Ultimate Fighting fan. In fact, he infamously gave a fan the finger at a UFC fight and had a picture taken of him as he did so. 2) He spends time with these UFC guys. Ryan hosted UFC lightweight champion Frankie Edgar at Jets facilities this weekend to give a motivational speech. It was the second time he’s done that. 3) Ryan has a brother, Rob, who coaches with the Cowboys. Rob is about his size and the boys definitely fought growing up.

Winner: It has to be Rex. He’s meaner, tougher, more experienced and a lot more energetic than the monotone and soft-spoken Andy Reid.

The Celebrity Showcase: Mike Ditka vs. Jon Gruden

Mike Ditka — Formerly with the Chicago Bears, New Orleans Saints

Age: 71

Height: 6’3”

Weight: 228 lbs

Fighting career: Ditka, an Aliquippa, Pa., native and University of Pittsburgh alum, has a reputation for being Mr. Tough Guy. As a coach, he’s feared by his players. He even broke his wrist after punching a locker during a halftime tirade. He’s also had his fair share of incidents from responding to or engaging hecklers in the stands.

Jon Gruden — Formerly with the Oakland Raiders, Tampa Bay Buccaneers

Age: 48

Height: 5’10”

Weight: Unknown

Fighting career: Gruden is known more for his facial expressions than his physical prowess. Nicknamed “Chucky” for being able to muster a frightening stare saved specifically for referees and players, Gruden has never been praised for his kind ways.

Winner: Gruden has youth, but that’s about it. Despite Ditka being 71 years old and one heart attack deep, I think he’s just too mean and too big to let a guy like Gruden toss him around. I’ve got Ditka in what would probably be a quick knockout.