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Trietley: What to expect from the ACC

What does the average Panther fan know about the current teams in the Atlantic Coast Conference?… What does the average Panther fan know about the current teams in the Atlantic Coast Conference? To foster new rivalries, Pitt and Syracuse need to familiarize themselves with future foes like the …

Boston College Eagles

Fast fact: Pitt’s lawsuit against them in 2003 did not include a restraining order.

The Eagles dominate Division I hockey. Unfortunately, that program plays in Hockey East and is thus irrelevant to this conversation. In fact, further discussion of Boston College athletics in general is largely irrelevant.

Clemson Tigers

Fast fact: Surprisingly, they don’t play in the Southeastern Conference.

Clemson football is known for the home-field advantage at Memorial Stadium, located in Clemson, S.C. This advantage stems from the fact that no road fan has ever successfully navigated to Clemson, S.C.

Duke Blue Devils

Fast fact: The most recent U.S. News & World Report ranked Duke’s undergraduate program No. 10 in the nation, which is also the lowest Dick Vitale has ever ranked the basketball program.

Duke prides itself on its Ivy League standards, which explains why its football program hasn’t had a winning season since 1994.

Florida State Seminoles

Fast fact: The Seminoles won three consecutive track and field national championships from 2006 to 2008.

Starting in 1962, whenever the football program upset an opponent on the road, the Seminole players removed some grass and added it to their “sod cemetery” on campus. Since they have finished in the Top 5 in the AP Poll every year from 1987 to 2000, they eventually relaxed their sod-pulling standards to “whenever we want to destroy someone’s AstroTurf.”

Georgia Tech Yellow Jackets

Fast fact: Their wide receiver depth chart consists of converted high school quarterbacks, wood glue and electrical tape.

Last season, starting quarterback Joshua Nesbitt completed 39 passes all season, as the Yellow Jackets employed the triple option. The ground game averaged 323 plodding, lateral-filled yards per week in 2010, and that number has climbed to 378 this season.

Maryland Terrapins

Fast fact: The terrapin is a type of turtle. Terrapins on the John F. Kennedy Airport runway have delayed flights twice in the past three years.

Maryland basketball won the national championship in 2002 but went 7-9 in the mediocre ACC last year. Fans have also demanded that the school apologize for the asymmetrical jersey design the football team wore against Miami last month.

Miami Hurricanes

Fast fact: The football program hasn’t actually won a conference title since moving to the ACC, despite all the pretension.

The Hurricanes wrongly assumed that they hit the low point of the program in 2006, when 31 Florida International and Miami players were suspended for a mid-game brawl that featured cleat stomping, helmet swinging and body slamming, and required police to break it up.

North Carolina Tar Heels

Fast fact: The athletic program’s trademark Carolina blue dates back to 1795, approximately 100 years before color existed.

North Carolina claims 37 national championships across all sports. Tar Heels women’s soccer has won 21 of them — all since 1981. Condolences go out to future Pitt women’s soccer players.

North Carolina State Wolfpack

Fast fact: Predates “The Hangover” jokes by nearly a century.

North Carolina State has a fierce rivalry with North Carolina, which is typically celebrated by losing to the Tar Heels in spectacular fashion. North Carolina has a significant lead in the men’s basketball, football and baseball series. In 1921, the Tar Heels basketball team beat the Wolfpack 62-10 in an early incarnation of what has become a tradition under Roy Williams.

Virginia Cavaliers

Fast fact: Thomas Jefferson founded this university, and every one of its wakeboarding students will remind you of this.

The athletic program adopted orange and navy blue as its colors in 1888 when it concluded that the gray and red it wore to honor the Confederacy didn’t show up well on the football field. Virginia claims 18 national championships, including a 1938 championship in boxing — a sport that the NCAA tactlessly discontinued in 1961.

Virginia Tech Hokies

Fast fact: The football team went into hiding for a record 86 days after losing to pedestrian FCS school James Madison University last season.

Virginia Tech was a full member of the Big East with Pitt from 2000 to 2003. The school’s official name is the Virginia Polytechnic Institute and State University, which makes for an interesting cheer: “Hoki, Hoki, Hoki, Hy / Techs, Techs, V.P.I. / Sola-Rex, Sola-Rah / Polytechs – Vir-gin-ia / Rae, Ri, V.P.I.”

Wake Forest Demon Deacons

Fast fact: Wake Forest admits students who correctly complete the analogy “Demon Deacon basketball is to _______ as DePaul basketball is to the Big East.”

In terms of undergraduate enrollment, Wake Forest is the third smallest FBS football school. The Demon Deacons became the smallest university in history to reach the Bowl Championship Series in 2006. Jim Grobe has coached the team for 11 seasons and continues to politely decline an adjunct position with the basketball program, which went 1-15 in the ACC last year.

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