Screen Time | The First Annual Rom Com Awards

Everywhere I look, I see pink and red Snapchat filters, ads for those life-sized teddy bears and those little heart candies with the sayings on them (does anyone actually like the way those taste or are they just a tradition?) That can only mean one thing … it’s Valentine’s season, people. Bask in the glory that is love! Whether you’re single like a Pringle or cuffed like a … um? A puff? I’ve made it my duty to give awards to these movies for being the perfect Valentine’s Day treats.

The Best Kiss Award — “The Half of It” (2020)

“The Half of It” is an extremely cute film by Alice Wu. Ellie is a high school student who is exceptionally good at writing essays, so much so that people pay her to write theirs. When cute boy Paul has a crush on cute girl Aster, he asks cute girl Ellie to write love letters on his behalf. Easy enough! Just gonna write some love letters, big deal. Except it’s a huge deal — because guess what? Ellie has a crush on Aster, too! And yes, two people are gonna kiss! I’m not telling you who though.

The Funniest Valentine Award — “Gnomeo & Juliet” (2011)

One of the most famous love stories of all time gets an animated twist in “Gnomeo & Juliet.” In classic Shakespeare fashion, Gnomeo and Juliet — who are both garden gnomes, in case you didn’t already pick up on the pun — accidentally fall in love even though their families are sworn enemies. The blue gnomes and the red gnomes live in two different gardens, and Gnomeo and Juliet aim to bring them together with their union. It’s extremely quotable and possibly one of the funniest movies I’ve ever seen. And Shakespeare even makes an appearance!

The “If You Can’t Love Yourself, How In The Hell You Gonna Love Somebody Else? Can I Get An Amen” Award — “Wreck it Ralph” (2012)

He’s a Bad Guy, but he’s not a bad guy, if you catch my drift. Pixar’s “Wreck it Ralph” is the perfect movie to remind you that self-love is the best love! Labeled as the villain of the arcade game “Fix It Felix Jr.,” Ralph sets out to earn a medal in the world of gaming to prove that he can be a hero, too. On his journey he learns how to love the guy in the mirror, freakishly large hands and all.

The “I Love You, Dude” Award — “Superbad” (2007)

What do you need this Valentine’s day? Michael Cera. Where do you need him? In a movie that’s all about him being besties with Jonah Hill. Everyone loves a good #bromance and that’s just what you’ll get in “Superbad,” a movie that seems like it’s all about drinking and partying that’s secretly filled with a cute and gushy friendship. You gotta show the homies some love, too.

The Notebook Award — Um … “The Notebook” (2004)

Well, what did you expect? Don’t give me that face. It’s “The Notebook,” for crying out loud, was I just not supposed to write about it? I had to include it in the Valentine’s Day queue — it’s pretty much the law. If you somehow live under a rock or hate love stories and don’t know what “The Notebook” is about, I’ll tell you. Ryan Gosling + Rachel McAdams = best love story, maybe in the history of ever. Boy meets girl at a carnival, falls in love with her, she doesn’t like him back — but wait. He’s Ryan Gosling, of course she likes him back! Rachel McAdams is only in town for the summer, what are they gonna do!? They’re in love! That’s basically the plot. Just watch it, you know you gotta.

And that concludes the first annual Rom Com Awards! So it’s time to dash some rose petals on your dorm floor, slam that god-awful heart candy into the nearest garbage can and snuggle up to a slew of love-filled movies! ‘Tis the season, after all.