I mother
so hard my mouth fills in sleep with blood
worrying the blisters
forcing myself through fish-markets
that glow with silver headlights
illuminating a body in the field
I mother it, too,
the skull fragments recollected
brain matter spooned back in
wildflowers painted white
while a molting bird circles above us
cawing Mother, mother
How badly I want to nourish
every living thing
gut fish for fish
mother every other mother
even when I am still
baby teeth
sucking honey from weeds
cupping every wasp
to a cask of sugar-water
shivering fingers through
cornsilk and cattails
holding a hand to my stomach
and dreaming a baby
back into my body
I mother so much
that god unmakes me for motherhood
takes my only one before her teeth
even form
makes the first the last
and refracts her through headlights
so that I hope for car-wrecks
my baby flashing briefly before my eyes
until I approach all roadkill
clutch bloodied pelts to my chest
and think their bodies can be
loved back to life
if I, Mother, mother hard enough.
Megan writes primarily about literature, mental health and queer culture. Talk to her at MLW116@pitt.edu.
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