Christensen: Avoid creating society of passive-aggressive tweeters

A funny thing happens when you’ve reached the end of your rope: You stop caring whether anyone… A funny thing happens when you’ve reached the end of your rope: You stop caring whether anyone thinks you’re a decent person and instead revert to basic instinct.

This happened to me last week, during my millionth hour on the fourth floor of Hillman Library. It was getting late and I hadn’t really eaten. A couple started talking loudly at a set of nearby computers, and without thinking, I turned and shushed them. It came out as a horrible hiss. They looked at me in shock; I blushed, turned back to my computer screen and tried to pretend like the librarian-esque shush hadn’t come from me.

Once my elevated blood pressure stopped deafening my perceptions, I realized that I had just done something amazing: The people weren’t talking anymore. In fact, they had left.

I don’t condone chasing people out of the library, and I don’t think hissing at people is an appropriate way to demonstrate frustration. But the episode did get me thinking: What if everyone started being just a little bit braver? I mean every day — politely, without waiting for their blood sugar to drop to dangerous levels. Especially as the stress of finals approaches, what if everyone started speaking up before something drives them crazy? Would we start feeling a little bit happier?

This generation’s getting passive. It might be an easy cop-out, but I’ll blame it on the Internet. Instead of confronting issues head-on, we Tweet about it. I’m not making this up. In the past couple of months, I’ve heard numerous stories about people sending out Tweet blasts about roommate and co-worker issues. The situation worsens when the offensive Twittering is inevitably discovered by its subjects— days of rage accumulated in text, blackening an individual’s name. Instead of putting our problems online, we should deal with them. Instead of Tweeting about the annoying people in the library, we should take the iniative and ask them to please lower their voices, thanks.

I’ll readily admit that I’m as passive-aggressive as the next person. Maybe even more so. I keep a detailed feelings journal about all the things that are bothering me (perhaps only just a step up from a Twitter account).

What is it that makes me so reluctant to confront issues head-on? I don’t know, being a girl might have something to do with it. I don’t really want to make it about gender — I think there are passive-aggressive dudes too. But the other day, I happened to be complaining to a male friend about some kind of roommate issue, something that by all accounts could be solved easily.

“Wait,” my friend said. “Instead of letting all this build up, why don’t you just ask them about it?”

I realized that I didn’t know why I hadn’t tried.

I think part of the problem is that so much of life is often out of our control that we forget the times when we do have control over something. After 16 years of school, we’re used to following orders. We’re handed a syllabus at the beginning of each semester, essentially telling us how we are going to spend our time each day. Following through on that is still up to us, but if we don’t do what we’re told, there are consequences. It makes us creatures unwilling to contest. Things tend to go easier when we feel like we don’t have any choice in the matter — when we have to duck our heads down and bear it. That’s why, I think, things like graduations are so scary; for once, we don’t have a clear path set out for us. We realize that we are autonomous.

I might digress, but I think this is all related. The thing about speaking up is, oftentimes, people agree with you. In the wake of the library and the roommate incidents, I’m trying to be more assertive. Not in a nasty way necessarily — I don’t hiss, and I don’t snap or yell. Quietly and rationally identifying a problem isn’t an easy task, but I realize that speaking up when something doesn’t quite jive does wonders for the self-esteem.

Because I’m starting to realize that there aren’t enough people who speak their minds anymore. Again, I’ll blame the Internet. But I’m not saying that we should become a society of antagonistic loudmouths. I just think we should start looking closer at the plates we’re handed. I think we should speak up when the servings really stink.

Write Caitlyn at cac141@pitt.edu.