Editorial: Casual Fridays 4/15

Waterproof the Pete

Celebratory gunfire was never quite so wet. The Nation… Waterproof the Pete

Celebratory gunfire was never quite so wet. The Nation reports that 3,471 people in Thailand celebrated the Thai New Year Wednesday by firing water pistols at each other. The article claims that the event clinched the Guinness World Record for largest water-gun fight. We know what the incoming freshmen will do during orientation this August.

Museum increases member-ship

Everyone wants a legacy of some sort — some have children, others write books and then there are those who decide to be original. According to the Associated Press, Iceland’s Phallological Museum — the world’s only museum dedicated to this particular male organ — has successfully received its inaugural human penis, after the death of the 95-year-old donor. Along with congratulating the Phallological Museum on this momentous achievement, we’re asking ourselves a simple question: If erectile disfunction commercials recommend calling a doctor when erections last more than four hours, what should be done about one that’s going to last an eternity?

Sunken prospects

“Biggest Liner Plunges to the Bottom at 2:20 A.M.; RESCUERS THERE TOO LATE,” read a headline in The New York Times 99 years ago today. Although no survivors of the tragic sinking of the Titanic currently remain living, people across the world are remembering the fated vessel, which plunged to the bottom of the Atlantic Ocean and took 1,513 passengers with it. In other news, real estate mogul and reality TV star Donald Trump — who yesterday announced that he will state May 22 whether he’ll run for president — plans to honor the memory of the Titanic tragedy by sending divers to the wreckage to look for President Barack Obama’s birth certificate.

Econorotica

Oftentimes the need to pay the bills can undermine other values. Apparently the people of Lead, S.D., disagree. According to Reuters, after city commissioners approved an easing of state restrictions on nude dancing in an effort to promote economic growth (they voted to repeal a town standard that prohibited nude dancing from taking place within a quarter-mile of any residence or business), opponents began gathering signatures to put the decision to a public vote. On Wednesday, the public supplied its answer: No naked dancers in Lead. Had things gone differently, perhaps the economy wouldn’t be the only thing rising.

Hitting the wrong bottle

Underage drinking is a classic problem on college campuses, but rarely would we consider it an issue at day care centers. Well, Reuters reports that two Michigan parents are suing Applebee’s parent company, claiming that one of its restaurants accidentally served their 15-month-old child an alcoholic beverage. The parents claim the alleged mix-up caused them emotional distress, as the child allegedly suffered hangover symptoms for days after the incident. However the court case turns out, we’re anxiously awaiting the announcement of a Chuck E. Cheese Happy Hour.