Editorial: A double standard for cheating

Apparently Ke$ha’s not the only one getting sleazy.

CNN blogger Ian Kerner, a sex counselor… Apparently Ke$ha’s not the only one getting sleazy.

CNN blogger Ian Kerner, a sex counselor and New York Times best-selling author, reported last week that experts agree that female infidelity is on the rise.

Before you question what your girlfriend actually does on “girls’ night,” know that Kerner admits that he knows of no actual statistics supporting the idea that more women are cheating.

Nonetheless, Kerner argues that female infidelity is more damaging and more likely to ruin a relationship than male infidelity.

“Male cheating is definitely harmful,” Kerner said. “But when a woman fools around, it’s often the death knell to a couple’s relationship.”

He backs this up with the assumption that men cheat for sex while women cheat for love. But from what we’ve encountered through exposure to the college hookup culture, we don’t think this assumption is accurate enough for any argument.

With no statistics on which to base his claims, we feel Kerner makes wide generalizations about cheating that are potentially damaging to both sexes. Not only are his ideas antiquated, but he also stereotypes men and women, and in doing so promotes a double standard for cheating.

We’d be more willing to forgive Kerner if he had a message other than, “If you think your girl would never cheat, think again. Here are some signs she might be playing you.”

We agree that changing social dynamics might cause a surge in unfaithful women. Even our experiences on campus demonstrate a hookup culture in which it’s not just the guys who are looking to score.

A University of Washington study found that those who earned $75,000 or more a year were 1.5 times more likely to cheat than those earning less than $30,000 a year. According to Kerner, the fact that more women are in the workforce and asserting financial independence might mean more women cheating. Instead of focusing on the fact that women are occupationally and economically gaining ground and in some instances surpassing their male counterparts, Kerner focuses on the fact that this is turning women into cheaters.

In addition, he argues that the Internet is responsible for the rise in female affairs. But we feel that not only women’s fidelity is compromised with the onslaught of social networking and even cheating dating services. Aren’t men also tempted by the ease of online lovers?

Regardless of changing social dynamics or whether or not more women are indeed straying from their boos, it’s still unfair to say that female infidelity is different — and according to Kerner — worse than male infidelity. We feel this simply cannot be generalized.

And rather than analyzing guesswork on the differences between unfaithful guys and gals, maybe instead we could focus on what types of relationships are prone to cheating.

Of course, every individual has a different idea of what even constitutes cheating. What’s sleazy to you might not be sleazy to Ke$ha.