Singer checks out Domino’s Pizza’s claims of better pies

Domino’s Pizza claims to be born again.

Domino’s Pizza — whose name traditionally… Domino’s Pizza claims to be born again.

Domino’s Pizza — whose name traditionally serves better as an oxymoron than a viable dinner option, whose advertising campaign floods the airwaves so heavily that it violates Libya’s no-fly zone, whose pizza my grandmother once called “chazer crap” — is telling us college students (see: pizza experts) that it can now roll with the Little Nippers and Papa Da Vincis of our world.

With finals week just beginning, pizza places will likely see a rise in revenue, but the question is whether or not Domino’s should be trusted to deliver.

The company’s current “Oh Yes We Did” commercial campaign flat-out admits to the company’s having terrible pizza, but promises that change has come at last.

“Most companies hide the criticism that they’re getting,” a particularly cute executive says during one ad. “We actually faced it head on.”

The commercial goes on to give a rare, realistic glimpse into how the Domino’s executives rolled up their collective Brooks Brothers’ sleeves and did what they had to do. This is no piece of propaganda, but rather a film that includes nothing but real footage of the Domino’s brass at its very finest.

Presented as a montage, the documentary first shows teary-eyed executives listening to disgruntled customers. Then, excited executives stand in a circle and clap. We later see executives tasting sauce out of a ladle, and finally, eating pizza and trading high fives. So that’s how they did it.

“We changed everything,” a nameless chef says to no one in particular. “The crust, the sauce, the cheese. Now it tastes better.”

“There comes a time when you know you’ve got to make a change,” Domino’s President Patrick Doyle says in the ad — which later features still-head chef Brandon Solano, who brags about being in charge for the past 25 years as if he didn’t know the commercial is about how bad his pizza’s been.

Call me cynical, but Domino’s and I have been through a lot together. Our relationship has been one of highs and lows, surprises and disappointments, breadsticks and wings. When I dumped Domino’s a few years back, it was because I felt like I was the only one trying to make the relationship work. It left a bitter taste in my mouth, to say the least.

Domino’s says that its done a lot of growing up, and deserves a second chance. I never had the strength to delete that phone number, so I called and asked for a late-night visit.

The first shocker came before I had even hung up the phone. Domino’s might be the low-cost option in some communities, but this is Oakland, baby. Between the tax, service fee, delivery charge and tip, I had already surpassed the price of walking over to Antoon’s. The smallest, most bare-bones pizza available from Domino’s costs $10, and side dishes will set you back another $6-10 dollars each.

But this experiment wasn’t about the money. The real question is, “Has the pizza really improved?” In short, the answer is yes. The longer answer requires me to explain what the pizza tastes like, so here it goes: The pizza tastes like pizza.

That might not seem like a big deal, but to anyone who agrees with the customers in the commercial, the “cardboard” taste and texture that made Domino’s infamous is now a thing of the past.

To be more specific, both the cheese and sauce had distinct, enjoyable flavors, without being overwhelming. The crust — a disposable part of some pies — went down deliciously before I even realized I had reached that stage of the slice. The breading wasn’t thin-crust style, but also wasn’t as thick as some of the local competitors’.

That doesn’t mean the pizza’s going to win any awards, but it’s good enough that if it vibes with your particular taste buds, it could become a regular in your pizza rotation.

The food got to my door hot and on time, and in a town not named “New York” or “Chicago,” that’s pretty much the most you can expect out of a normal pizza joint. So next time you’re feeling wild — or, next time it’s 3 a.m. and everywhere else is closed — consider giving Domino’s another chance. If you like it, then you’ve found a new pizza place. If you don’t, you might have a future career doing commercials.