Jovenitti: Counting down best beverages for local sports

Beer: the almighty companion of every sporting event. Beer advertisements dominate Super Bowl… Beer: the almighty companion of every sporting event. Beer advertisements dominate Super Bowl commercials. Beer cans and bottles are omnipresent at tailgates for football and baseball games. What else would we spend $8 a glass for at an arena? The answer is nothing.

Beer and sports go together like a ball and a bat, a helmet and pads, a basketball and ridiculously long shorts, a hockey puck and missing teeth.

So for my Top 10 this week, I give you the best combination of beers and Pittsburgh sporting events.

10. Hockey — Labatt Blue or Molson. Nothing says hockey like your favorite Canadian beer.

9. Pirates Opening Day — Bud Light or Miller Lite. Opening day is a special time for Pirates fans. This year, the team was coming off a 4-2 road trip, so not only was there eternal optimism, but the Pirates actually had a winning record. That calls for a fun, yet relatively cheap, beer. Bud Light and Miller Lite fit the criteria for this happy occasion.

8. Pirates Regular Season — Coors Light. The middle of the Pirates’ season rarely breeds any optimism. By May, they’re usually near the bottom of the standings. But hey, it’s summer. Baseball games are still fun to attend. This time, though, you’ll need a little bit of a lighter beer — so you can consume more and forget about the Pirates’ woes. Coors Light is great for a mid-season Bucs game — as it’s nearly water.

7. Power games — Heineken. The Pittsburgh Power surged onto the local sports scene this spring. According to the commercials, arena football is “half the field, twice the excitement.” Power games are pretty unique and exciting, but it’s still just a little bit odd. So if you attend a game, you need something that fits with arena football —­­­­­ something that’s just a little off the beaten path. Heineken is perfect for Power games. It’s similar enough to taste like a regular beer, but it’s just unique enough to be considered a little different. Much like arena football.

6. Pirates end of season — Penn Pilsner. When September comes, the Pirates season has been over for four months. Heck, last year, the Bucs clinched their 18th straight losing season in August. So by September, Pirates fans need to switch to something a little bit stronger than Bud or Coors Light. Penn Pilsner fits the bill, and its heavier taste will help you forget the fact that the Pirates just lost their 100th game of the season. Penn Pilsner also gets bonus points because it’s brewed on the North Side near PNC Park.

5. Pirates in the playoffs — Champagne. If — by some odd alignment of the stars — the Pirates do ever make the playoffs, beer will no longer be sufficient. Most teams would save the bubbly for when they win the World Series, but if the Pirates ever clinch a playoff berth, it’s time to celebrate.

4. Pitt football — Natural Light. Pitt football games are basically cheaper versions of Steelers games — with a few more drunk students in attendance. Nothing quite says college students like Natty Light. You can take the frat party from Friday night to the North Shore on Saturday morning.

3. Steelers Season — I.C. Light. When Steelers season kicks off — if the NFL actually has a season this year — it calls for a celebration of Pittsburgh. I.C. Light is the epitome of a Steelers beer. Sure, the brewery moved out of the city, but so did all the steel mills for which the NFL team was named. Celebrate Pittsburgh’s football and beer history. After all, Pittsburgh is a drinking town with a football problem.

2. Steelers in the Super Bowl — Iron City. When the Steelers make it to the Super Bowl, we need to dig a little bit deeper into Pittsburgh beer history to fully capture the Yinzerness of Pittsburgh. That’s why we’ll have to switch from I.C. Light to the original, Iron City. And if you’re at a Pittsburgh bar, you aren’t allowed to order one unless you ask for an “Arn City.”

1. March Madness — Whiskey. When March finally rolls around and Pitt gets another high seed in the NCAA Tournament, there is only one kind of alcohol that can fully prepare you for the madness ahead: your preference of scotch, Irish whiskey or bourbon. I prefer Jameson, but that might be too smooth to accompany Pitt’s March Madness efforts. Wild Turkey might be more appropriate.

There you go, a beer (or liquor) for every Pittsburgh sports occasion.