Many turn to Internet Cupid for love

I’m a girl who knows her way around Google, who knows how to study with SparkNotes and who can… I’m a girl who knows her way around Google, who knows how to study with SparkNotes and who can explain the term “Internet meme” to an octogenarian. So, with wounds still fresh from heartbreak and a desire to bounce back into the dating world , I looked to the Internet to solve my problems. And I found OkCupid.

OkCupid is a free online-dating website that breaks away from the social stigma of what a “dating site” and its community really are.

I’ve looked at other dating sites, but with my scanty income, it’s hard to justify eHarmony’s fee of $59.95 for one month, or $19.95 per month for 12 months.

When one of my best friends first suggested that I make an OkCupid account, I giggled and rolled my eyes, but I let him help me make one, figuring I’d delete it soon. But I didn’t.

My time in the OkCupid community, has taught me that the label “dating site” is far too narrow of a term to describe it. There are a vast number of people online there: single, taken, sexually active or not, lonely or busy, all with different goals and wishes. Some of them aren’t even looking for dates.

As for me, I’m not needy or desperate like many dating site stigmas would imply. I’ve met guys outside of OkCupid who want to date me, sleep with me or just have pleasant conversations. But I haven’t found anyone who has caught my attention, so I turned to a larger pool of potential dates and friends.

But I can see the shame of online dating still sticks. In my experience, most entries under “The Most Private Thing I’m Willing to Admit” section of members’ profiles read, “That I have an OkCupid account.”

But this site is just like a lot of social networking sites. It’s set up almost like Facebook, except instead of “friending” people you know, you meet new people. After signing in, the homepage has a “Recent Activity” list — similar to the “News Feed” — that shows updates from locals. Above that are pictures of people within the age and gender parameters that you have specified that you are looking for in a “match.”

Specifications of who exactly you are looking for can have a wide variety of combinations.

My specification is “Everybody, Ages 19-23, Near me, For new friends.” It has brought all kinds: a girl looking for a partner to write a blog about movies, classic date invites, casual sex seekers, even a soldier being deployed to Afghanistan wanting a pen pal.

There are a few creeps on there, but I can assure you that most of the people I’ve come into contact with have been interesting, kind people.

To find matches, you answer some of the mostly user-created questions to reveal what’s important to you. Together, members have answered more than 150 million questions. From that, OkCupid selects potential matches who answered similarly, showing their compatibility percentage next to their profile picture.

In addition to calculating matches, the questions can make great ice breakers. Stemming from a question I answered, I had a great conversation about Pokemon with a guy that eventually developed into an intellectual evaluation of ’90s culture in general.

There are numerous success stories, and some of these can be viewed in the “Treasures” section of the website. I believe these stories wholeheartedly, considering the fun people I have met from their recommendations.

I realize a lot of people find it scary to meet someone they found online. But it’s the same thing as meeting a guy at a bar or party, except you’re sober and can interrogate him before handing out your number.

Still, there are some precautions you should take:

1. Use your head if you actually plan on meeting someone in person. “Sure, pizza and a movie at your place sound great, here’s my address to pick me up!” is not an appropriate answer to a first date invite. When he rolls up to your apartment in his van that has brown paper taped to conceal all of the back windows, don’t blame me.

2. Keep it to public places, so that if someone carries you away as you’re screaming, the authorities can be notified. Because after all, you never know if someone just took pictures off another person’s Facebook to conceal his age.

3. Be aware of someone’s intentions. If a guy responds to “Wow I like your muscles!” with “You haven’t even seen the biggest one yet … What’s your e-mail?” and then you end up with an inbox brimming with lewd pictures, I’d think you deserved it.

OkCupid has an extensive section under its “Terms and Conditions” warning about giving personal information out to others and with good reason. Just like meeting a guy at a party or bar, they’re not all winners.

Still, I think that it’s worth throwing out the social stigmas and shame and giving OkCupid a try.

Oh, and by the way, I’m looking for a Friday night date. Call me. I’ll pick you up outside your place in my van. Just kidding.