Editorial | What Harry Styles would do if he were actually on Pitt’s campus

Gene’s Place is located on Louisa Street in Oakland.

Harry Styles graced Pittsburgh with his presence last week for his “Love on Tour” concert at PPG Paints Arena, and Pitt students damn near lost their minds. All around Oakland, dozens of people gathered outside of the Cathedral of Learning, the Oaklander and more — following rumors about his whereabouts to potentially catch a glimpse of the star on campus. If Styles actually were on campus, here’s what we think he’d do.

Go to Gene’s

Styles would absolutely go get a drink at Oakland gem Gene’s Place, because that’s where all the coolest people hang out, and he is very cool. We’re sure Gene’s regulars would welcome him with open arms.

Show up on @pitt.missedconnections

The post, on whatever color background the account is on now, would read, “if u were holding hands with olivia wilde hmu.”

Get Roots with Willow Smith

We all love a good salad. Rumor has it that Willow Smith stopped in Roots after her show at Mr. Smalls Theater on Oct. 6. They could just make us all happy and get Roots together. We’d appreciate that.

Tour the Nationality Rooms

No one’s trip to campus is complete without a tour of the Nationality Rooms. A picture of Harry Styles looking British with a cup of tea in the English Nationality Room would be put in the room’s display case.

Be followed by hordes of fans

Everyone who was obsessed with One Direction in their youth — and the people who started listening to his music after he struck out on his own — would make a pretty formidable horde. Also, he has a whole subset of people obsessed with him just because he’s dating Olivia Wilde, which is, of course, perfectly valid. I mean, have you seen her?

Have a smoke with Volodia

Vladmir Padunov is known to students and Pitt faculty alike as “Volodia,” and as the man that smokes on the Cathedral of Learning patio. We feel like he and Styles would get along and enjoy smoking together.

Rubbing the Panther’s nose in front of the WPU

Styles would need to participate in this age-old Pitt tradition to truly say he came to Pittsburgh. After all, it’s the Pitt version of “break a leg.” He might even perform better if he rubbed the Panther’s nose before his concert.

Bring Olivia Wilde on a date to Phipps

Phipps Conservatory and Botanical Gardens is beautiful inside and out as well as a Pittsburgh landmark that draws thousands of visitors every year. It also fits Styles’ aesthetic — just him and Olivia Wilde frolicking in the Orchid Room. Beautiful people belong among beautiful flowers.

Go to Phipps with Mick Jagger

But maybe Wilde had other plans while in Pittsburgh and Styles had to burn some time. He could always join Mick Jagger, who paid a visit to Phipps just a few weeks ago. Something tells us they’d get along too.

Take a picture with Dippy

Not every city is as lucky as ours to have a massive dinosaur statue. Aside from Roc the Panther, Dippy serves as a sort of unofficial mascot for Pitt students and the people of Pittsburgh alike. Although he’s usually adorned with Steelers gear, we could sacrifice one day of team pride to dress him in Harry Styles swag.

opinionsdesk