Sex Edition: Put a ring on it

When it comes to dating and marriage, colleges students as a group are a bit of an anomaly —… When it comes to dating and marriage, colleges students as a group are a bit of an anomaly — They like it but they don’t want to put a ring on it. For the moment, most are enjoying the hookup phase.

When they do tie that proverbial knot, likely several years after they leave school, college graduates’ marriages will have statistically higher success rates.

The 2010 report from the U.S. Census Bureau indicates that the median age for first marriage has increased, with men getting married around 28 and women around 26.

“The more education you have, the more likely you are to get married, and college-educated men and women are more likely to get married, less likely to get divorced, more likely to have stable marriages, and less likely to have children outside of marriage,” said Christine Whelan, a sociology professor and the author of two books on marriage.

Whelan said statistics in the past have shown that 90 percent of Americans do marry at some point in their lives.

“Whether or not that is going to be true for your generation is a different question, but while fewer Americans are choosing to get married, there is one group of Americans that is pretty gung-ho about marriage — and that’s college-educated Americans,” Whelan said, adding that people with higher levels of education have higher chances of getting married

The Pew Research Center’s nationwide survey associated with Time Magazine found that in 2008, there was a 16 percent gap in marriage rates between college graduates — 64 percent — and those with a high school diploma or less — 48 percent.

Whelan said the common statistic that 50 percent of marriages end in divorce doesn’t necessarily apply to everyone.

A study called “Women’s Education and Family Behavior: Trends in Marriage, Divorce and Fertility,” published last year by the National Bureau of Economic Research, suggested that marriages between college-educated spouses were the least likely to end in a split. After 10 years, only about 16 percent of college-graduate couples who married in the 1990s had split, according to the study.

More than 20 percent of couples with less than college education had split, according to the study.

For now, a hook-up culture

In general, however, college students typically don’t seem to be thinking about marriage — at least not now.

“I feel that the atmosphere of college is very self-centered — not necessarily negatively, but they are looking out for their future career-wise,” said sophomore Christiana Son. “College students use this time to find themselves and what they personally want, whereas marriage is a partnership.”

For many, college life seems more centered on hook-ups than on committed relationships.

“Dating patterns here are a bit sporadic. There are some long-term couples, but there are others — many in fact — just looking to hook up,” Son said.­

Whelan described the college environment as one of casual intimacy. People tend to play the field and focus on dating rather than courtship.

“Courtship is dating with a view toward marriage, and I don’t think college students today are engaging in courtship. Dating is the much more casual sort of thing where you sort of do it for fun, for social stuff, for popularity competitions,” Whelan said.

But this hook-up culture doesn’t last forever. Whelan estimated that most members of Pitt’s graduating class would start thinking about courtship in their mid-twenties.

“That’s when you go out on a couple dates with someone. You don’t go out on more than a couple dates with them if you don’t see the relationship going anywhere — and by going anywhere, you mean heading potentially toward a serious relationship and marriage,” Whelan said.

When things get serious

Even though some students are content to date rather than court, others are only steps away from marriage.

Angela Repko is among the college students who chose to focus on courtship rather than dating. She attributed her attitude to the way she was raised.

“You’re dating for the purpose of finding someone that you could see yourself spending the rest of your life with, not just to see how many people you can spend the rest of your life with,” she said.

The Pitt junior has dated her fiancé Jeremy Nelson, who is also a junior, for the past seven and a half years. The couple plans to marry this August, which will mark their eight-year anniversary.

“We’ve known for a long time … that we’re meant for each other, and we are going to stay together. It just seemed silly to wait if we knew that we would spend the rest of our lives together,” Repko said.

The couple has already taken marriage preparation steps by attending North Way Christian Community’s newlywed and engaged group, which is designed to guide couples through issues they might face in the future and to help them connect with one another.

Though Whelan acknowledges the potential success for long-time couples keen on getting married, she’s still hesitant to recommend marriage to college students.

“A lot can change in those couple of years out of college, and you want to make sure that you’re choosing a partner that will change with you,” Whelan said.

She said the median age for marriage ranges between the late 20s and 30s, though she advises couples not to rush into marriage simply because the timing seems right.

“That’s often the biggest danger. Often times we have this idea of ‘I should be married by 25’ so we push this relationship which perhaps wouldn’t necessarily go in that direction toward marriage because you’re afraid of the future if you don’t accomplish this goal,” Whelan said.