Sex Edition: Certain movies make for intimate moments

Whether they’re using Marvin Gaye, scented candles or oysters, college kids are always looking… Whether they’re using Marvin Gaye, scented candles or oysters, college kids are always looking for an easy way to set the mood with their “special” friends. Many find that watching the right movie can be the perfect way to set things off.

A good hook-up film doesn’t have to be one laden with sexual activity — in fact, many of the “success” stories I’ve heard have resulted from less obvious titles. For example, a tactic endorsed by many is to pick a movie so boring that, to a potential mate, the idea of hooking up becomes more palatable.

“I remember watching ‘No Country for Old Men’ with a girl and she got so bored I didn’t even have to ask,” freshman Nishant Singh said.

The key to this approach is subtlety. Bringing someone to your room to watch the four hour extended edition of “Lord of the Rings” would make your ulterior motives transparent, whereas a more conventional movie like “Avatar” doesn’t announce any hidden agenda — and is just as boring.

Director Wes Anderson, with his slow-paced and quirky films, is the perfect middle ground. “The Life Aquatic,” for example, has a two-hour runtime full of still shots, dialogue and sarcastic humor, all of which are guaranteed to strategically bore your would-be mate.

But subtlety isn’t everyone’s strong suit. Some find the added tension from a sexually explicit film perfect for their motives. Movies like “American Pie” or “Zach and Miri Make a Porno” are good choices if you’d rather not take the plunge directly into pornography. But if it isn’t a first-time deal, actual porn is the choice for some.

“I like to watch porn if I already know the girl,” freshman Brandon Yaple said.

Films with passionate love scenes could be just right for setting the mood. For example, Leonardo DiCaprio and Vera Farmiga have a passionate scene in “The Departed” that is guaranteed to get things started. And if you fall into a more aggressive sexual niche, one student recommended the two-prostitute sex scene in “American Psycho” to get the passions rising.

Action movies offer more of a double-edged sword. Although not everyone would be interested in sitting through “The Transporter,” the risk is having someone become too engaged to carry anything out.

“I can’t watch a movie like ‘The Expendables’ with a girl or I’ll get too into it and forget she’s there,” a sophomore studying in the Cathedral said.

The best way to avoid this is to pick a movie you’ve already seen. The action-packed scenes in “Crank” lose most of their punch the second time around.

Romantic comedies are often the movie of choice for hook-ups. Every Valentine’s Day, the market is flooded with cheesy films that have self-explanatory titles like “Just Go With It” or “How Do You Know?” that people take their dates to see in the hopes that they will get lucky afterwards. But this doesn’t come without its drawbacks: These movies often cast heartthrob actors and actresses sure to outshine you in the looks department. Among those that I’ve talked to, watching a movie that has an excessively attractive cast doesn’t help.

“I watched ‘500 Days of Summer’ with a girl and she couldn’t stop talking about how hot Joseph Gordon-Levitt was — bad idea,” freshman Alex Hart said.

This problem exists on both ends of the spectrum. Guys watching movies like “The Love Guru” often get sidetracked with the beautiful female leads.

“Dude, if there is a really hot girl in the movie, I can easily lose focus on my girl,” a sophomore at Market Central said.

If you’ve got to watch a romantic comedy, choose one with a less confidence-threatening cast. For example, a movie starring Michael Cera or Ellen Page most likely won’t leave your partner weak in the knees with misdirected lust.

Girls aren’t in the dark about these tactics. For them, when a guy asks to watch a movie, they generally know what the situation is.

“If I actually like the guy, then the movie doesn’t really matter. I can usually tell if he’s being a creep and trying to trick me into something,” freshman Liza Boulet said.

When in a relationship, many girls say the movie choice is up to them. In this case, the girl dictates where the night is headed.

“If you really want to hook up, you have to pick a movie you won’t get interested [in] — girls are easily distracted, so we can’t watch a movie that we like,” a group of girls eating at Market Central said.

Guys shouldn’t assume that picking any movie will particularly help their chances of getting lucky. From the moment the idea of watching a movie is presented, girls usually know what’s going on. What matters is how well the guy has been doing in every other department.

“I can usually tell when someone is trying to hook up, if he’s a good guy I’ll let him think that he was being really clever,” sophomore Argie Zoubroulis said.

In the end, there is no real magic formula. The key is actually gaining the affection of your significant other — and hoping they don’t call your bluff when you pick that strategic movie to watch.