Ask Antonio: Spring Break Blues

Dear Antonio,

I am currently going through an issue with a girl from home. As you know, spring break is coming up, and my old flame from high school wants to hang out and “talk” over break. We dated for about eight months in high school until we broke up senior year, but continued to hook up until a few months ago. We have been on decent terms and talked regularly over the past two months, but, since then, I have fallen for someone else. I know that she wants to talk about getting back together, but I don’t have any desire to rekindle that flame. However, I am nervous about telling her. Every time she asked me if I had been with someone else, I said no because I don’t want to hurt her. What should I say to her, and how do I even go about it? 

Sincerely,

Spring Break Blues

Dear Blues,

Well, your first mistake is going home over spring break. My first prescription is a trip to Cancún, instead. Throwing back a couple of Coronas down in Mexico doesn’t sound so bad, does it? At least you wouldn’t have to endure that awkward conversation, pal. Just joking, of course. Sometimes, it is refreshing to return to your roots over break and surround yourself with loved ones and old friends. However, going back home sometimes means that we have some old problems waiting for us. Nonetheless, Dr. Antonio has the remedy and a few tips on how to approach cutting ties with your old flame.

I am going to start you off with a prescription of confidence and a heavy dose of honesty. Breaking hearts can be one of the most difficult things to do because, sometimes, we hurt ourselves more than we hurt the other person. We often mask what we need to say because we fear hurting someone who loves us. This is where the confidence comes in. Be sure to sit up straight and look her dead in the eye. There is no doubt that she deserves your full attention when this happens. And, as for the honesty, notice I said heavy dose. Do not beat around the bush. It is already bad enough that you lied to her and said you haven’t hooked up with anyone else. As a mature individual, I would advise you to be completely honest with her and tell her everything. In the long run, she will respect you much more when all of the smoke clears.

The next prescription is going to seem like common sense, but should never be avoided. When entering this conversation, please understand that she is not going to be happy. It is more than likely going to crush her. Please be sympathetic and be prepared for anything she responds with. Remain honest and calm and remember that this is someone with whom you were once close. You’re going to want to level with her and attempt to make the process as smooth as possible.

Before I close this out, I also want to prescribe you with two milligrams of happiness. Remember, your happiness is key. It is impossible to go around pleasing everyone, because we will just end up crushing ourselves. You cannot make anyone else happy unless you, yourself, are happy. So be honest, level with her and remember that you are not breaking it off because you are some evil heartbreaker. You’re doing it to make yourself happy. And, sometimes, that is all that we can do. Oh yeah, and it is 83 degrees in Cancún right now. You might want to rethink your plans next year.

Best of luck, Blues,

Antonio

Email Antonio at ajb195@pitt.edu, or if you are electronically inclined, tweet at him with @TonyxMafia