Trietley: Make sure you’re prepared for Super Bowl festivities

he Super Bowl is more than a game. It’s one big social gathering. Here’s some advice for… The Super Bowl is more than a game. It’s one big social gathering. Here’s some advice for Sunday’s festivities.

First, buy your snacks now. In past years, the demand for chips, pretzels and all of nature’s finest bite-size foods have left the shelves of Oakland’s convenience stores bare by Sunday morning. A good bag of tortilla chips goes faster than a furnished apartment — heat included in the rent! — this time of year.

Whether you’re waiting for a bus or killing class time, you need to stop what you’re doing and run to the market this very moment. Faster! Dodge those parking meters! If you arrive and the snack aisle looks like a scene from a disaster movie, find another store. There’s no time!

After snacks are secured, the second task concerns where you are going to watch the game. Specifically, which friend has the best television? I want to see Hines Ward’s pores in 1080p. If that friend is wary about hosting a Super Bowl party, coax him with the scarce snacks you have.

A third pregame task to tend to: betting. According to Bloomberg, up to $10 billion worldwide will be wagered on Sunday’s game. Office pools are a popular form of social gambling, in which each participant is randomly assigned possible ones digits of each team’s score. If your numbers match those in the final score, you win — hooray! It’s entertaining because you get to watch people calculate how many safeties each team needs in order for them to win.

After you’ve wasted away a few dollars, it’s time to contribute to another football tradition: prognostication. The best predictions are the ones in which you don’t actually predict anything. “Pittsburgh wins, 24-21, assuming Ben Roethlisberger has a great game.” If the Steelers don’t win, blame it on Roethlisberger. If they do win, well, you knew it all along. You’re right either way! This strategy is often employed by television personalities and columnists alike.

So now you have nachos, a 52” widescreen, $5 on Pittsburgh and an equivocal prediction as your Facebook status. It’s game time. Be rowdy — but don’t be that guy. You know that guy. You’ve known him for years, but you just learned last week he was a Green Bay Packers fan.

Some Philadelphia Eagles and Cleveland Browns fans in the Pittsburgh area have adopted Green Bay because their teams lost — what else is new? — and they don’t want a rival to win. Forced puns from Steelers fans like “stairway to seven” and “knocking on seven’s door” are obnoxious, but don’t respond by antagonizing them. Just let Pittsburgh fans have their fun on Sunday.

That brings up another common Super Bowl party event: the pointless debate. As the game rolls on and a yawner of a coach’s challenge hits the fourth minute of review, friends are going to chat about football — and disagree. I’ve seen arguments start because friends got their Mike Williamses mixed up. Know that this will happen, and try to weather the storm.

Have you ever wondered what we miss because of the Super Bowl? I call it the Christmas Effect, based off the phenomenon that no actual news seems to happen on Christmas. Even if an African nation falls into chaos Sunday night — like, say, Eritrea — it’ll be weeks before we realize it.

So if you’ve reached your bickering quota and your football get-together has hit a lull, check out the scores of other sporting events. There aren’t many because of smart schedulers, but I searched until I found a few that overlap with the big game. Mexico plays Puerto Rico in Caribbean Series baseball at 7:30 p.m., and South American U20 soccer will stream on ESPN3 all evening. Go Colombia!

Commercials will be a part of your evening as well, as many Americans pay closer attention to them than they do to the game. Sometime in the second quarter, though, you’re going to have to decide between watching a beer commercial and going to the bathroom. Advice: Forgo the commercials. The Internet will have it on Monday. Don’t strain yourself just so you can catch a mediocre 30-second spot.

With that said, there’s not much more to discuss besides the game itself. Steelers 21, Packers 20 — assuming Pittsburgh shuts down Aaron Rodgers.