Trietley: Football needs a better villain than Tom Brady’s hair

Tom Brady has 23 touchdowns and more than 2,700 yards passing this year, and all I can think… Tom Brady has 23 touchdowns and more than 2,700 yards passing this year, and all I can think about is his hair.

Brady and the Patriots used to be the most hated team in all of football. With 9:09 to go in a game against the Redskins in Oct. 2007, they went for the touchdown on fourth down at Washington’s seven yard line. They were winning, 45-0.

That same fall, the league fined head coach Bill Belichick $500,000, fined the franchise $250,000 and took away its first-round pick in the 2008 draft for “use of equipment to videotape an opposing team’s offensive or defensive signals,” as the league termed it. For everybody else, it was simply called “Spygate,” and it made the Patriots’ villain status official.

But two weeks ago, when an animated Brady screamed at his offense on the sidelines of a game against the Steelers, he wasn’t a villain anymore. His hair, which he doesn’t seem to have cut this year, is now down to his shoulders.

It’s the goofiest thing in Boston since Manny Ramirez.

I chuckle every time Brady runs his fingers through his locks. For years, he was the consummate professional, a Steeler-killer who did it all with a cheesy grin — the best kind of antagonist. Now, he isn’t frightening. He looks more like J.P. Losman than Roger Staubach.

Football needs a villain, and for years the Patriots were just that, running up scores and embracing the fact that they were disliked. But they’ve lost that edge. Star wide receiver and occasional mooner Randy Moss is in Tennessee, Belichick hasn’t been as aggressive on fourth down since it cost him a game against the Colts last season and Brady, well … his hair.

Am I supposed to hate Wes Welker, an undrafted 5-foot-9 receiver who quietly catches 100 balls a year? I can’t. The only thing contentious about New England’s offense these days is the origin of running back BenJarvus Green-Ellis’ first name.

The league is boring without an antagonist, that team that riles people up. Everybody has an opinion about the New York Yankees. You were either for or against Auburn last Friday. The Philadelphia Flyers have embraced their “Broad Street Bullies” image for almost 40 years now.

LeBron James asked us in a Nike commercial, “Should I accept my role as a villain?” Yes, LeBron, you should. I won’t watch your game in Cleveland Thursday if you hand out forgiveness cupcakes beforehand.

Without a villain, casual fans have no rooting interest. We’ll pull for Mid-Major State University if it’s trailing West Virginia by a basket. If it’s playing Oregon State? Not so much.

Look at this year’s World Series. The Giants were a great young team with solid pitching and a can-do attitude. The Rangers were a great team with great hitters, clutch pitching and a feel-good storyline.

Nobody watched. 22.3 million people watched the Yankees beat the Phillies last year. 14.95 million watched the Giants win.

The Onion slapped some dry wit on the situation with its satirical article “Nation Disappointed By Great World Series Matchup.”

“I want to relish a losing performance from a team that I absolutely hate or, failing that, endure a championship win from a team that I hate in order to justify being even angrier at their organization, their players, and their fans,” The Onion joked. “That’s why I watch baseball and that’s why I watch sports.”

Football doesn’t have that hated team right now, and its postseason might reach the same fate as baseball’s if Cortland Finnegan doesn’t start a fight with half the league next weekend.

The top teams are like antacids for any passionate sport fan’s stomach. The Jaguars, Falcons, Chiefs and Seahawks all lead or co-lead their divisions.

Nobody feels anything toward them. Even when the Chiefs beat your team, you shrug and say, “Eh, the Chiefs are alright.”

Even the Eagles have a positive vibe going. They’ve turned Michael Vick from a booed bad boy to an MVP candidate who has paid his debt to society.

The league fined the Broncos $50,000 last Saturday because an aide filmed part of a 49ers workout earlier this season. If only they weren’t 3-8 and hadn’t lost that game against the 49ers, somebody might have cared about it sooner. If anything, all it showed was that the 2007 Patriots would have won without cheating. Where’s the fun in that?

The hard-hitting Steelers could have attained villain status, but the league fines and flags James Harrison so often, most people just feel sorry for him.

The Jets are 9-2, but they’re completely likable in every way, unless you root against LaDainian Tomlinson’s resurgence or despise former Pitt Panther Darrelle Revis. They play 9-2 New England Monday night.

So with 12 bland teams making the playoffs this year, only one thing can save the excitement of the postseason: the Patriots need to become the villain again.

The game on national television Monday is their chance.

Belichick, wearing the shaggiest cut-off hoodie he owns, should go for it on fourth and long every time — and make it. Brady should throw touchdown pass number four, five and six, and trot off the field grinning over a 49-3 victory.

And maybe after, he can cut his hair.