Trimble: Do we get kinkier as we age?

A couple years ago, a male friend and I had a conversation about anilingus — aka… A couple years ago, a male friend and I had a conversation about anilingus — aka “salad-tossing,” or oral stimulation of the anal cavity. It started with me telling him about someone I knew receiving the act. After he gasped in horror and I had to convince him to refrain from hanging up on me, I told him about an older couple I knew that made it a regular experience in the bedroom. The girl was in her mid-twenties and he was a little over 30 years old, and they weren’t the only ones that I knew in that age range getting kinky. Though I might not act on it, I am open to the thought of almost anything in the realm of sexual experimentation. My friend on the other end of the line, however, was not. Or at least he wasn’t back then.

Based on pure hearsay and the laws of maturity, it seems that an open mind comes with age. People, especially men, seem to get freakier with age. I blame it on plain ol’ boredom — the more you do something, the less it excites you, and this leads to more adventurous conquests. That was the end of our ridiculous discussion.

Years later, it is still an absolute treat when a friend calls me to report the dirty details of their own or an acquaintance’s life. See, some would say I have a bit of a nosey side to me, but I think it’s just plain curiosity. When anyone has a story worth telling, I’m ecstatic. Add a little extra juiciness and I just get closer and closer to becoming a child on Christmas morning. It’s very rare that one of these tales takes me by complete surprise. But a few nights ago, a friend accomplished this with ease, and I was brought back to the chat I had previously mentioned.

I was ready to hear this friend tell me that I should be jealous of the great sex she had had that night with her friend with benefits. Then she broke the news. In a nutshell, she was expecting to do it doggie-style by the way they were positioned, and then he just started going down on her … only he wasn’t focused on the area she was used to. I couldn’t help but crack up at her embarrassment.

This has been a recurring theme lately. Although several of the people that I talked to, both women and men, said that they still wouldn’t perform this act, I receive more and more yes’s and an even larger amount of maybe’s every time the topic arises.

It seems more common for men to do it to women, though legitimate statistics on this specific subject are practically nonexistent. I can understand why — women are generally considered to be more hygienic and, um, less hairy. I will say that there were definitely a number of women that weren’t opposed to giving it a try on their partners, given a grooming and an extensive shower beforehand. You can’t argue with those conditions.

According to The Columbus Dispatch, people in the U.S. are getting more sexually adventurous. The Dispatch backs this up with a recent survey from the Center for Sexual Health Promotion at Indiana University, which found — among other things — that compared with the 1994 study, “more men and women have engaged in oral sex and a significantly greater proportion have engaged in anal sex.”

I think this is great. There is absolutely nothing wrong with a little indulgence in experimentation, so long as you’re being safe about it. This is especially awesome because it’s something that, even a few years ago, most people wouldn’t admit to. Maybe my old theory is correct and I’m entering an age in which those around me are not grossed out by slightly extreme exploits. Or society is just becoming increasingly accepting and nothing is really off-limits anymore. Either way, I’m OK with it, and you should be too.

I encourage all of you amazing readers of The Pitt News to tell me what crazy things you like to do in between the sheets that you might not normally bring up for any reason. It can be your take on the matter mentioned above, or anything else. It could even be things you do now that you would never have considered at a younger age.

Whether it’s salad tossing or a foot fetish, being okay with what you are into is key. The more comfortable you feel about the small things leads to being completely comfortable with your sex life in general, which is the ultimate goal. And remember, don’t be afraid to try new things. There’s nothing that proves you have to have a certain quality to let your kinky side show.

E-mail Leah at lmt45@pitt.edu.