Azzara: The art of drinking at bars

A few weeks ago, I accomplished one of my life goals — I turned 21. My September birthday has… A few weeks ago, I accomplished one of my life goals — I turned 21. My September birthday has always been a point of envy among my peers, but never has the advantage of my age been so satisfying as it was when I became one of the first of the class of 2012 to become a legal drinker.

And thus far, being 21 has more than exceeded my expectations. In fact, the transition from underage to legal actually even came with a few things for which I hadn’t prepared myself.

Thus, lest you repeat my mistakes and those of so many others before me, I offer to those of you who have not yet reached this birthday-milestone a concise guide to being a proper 21-year-old. And for the already legal drinkers, let this be a reminder to us all.

I hope I’m not stating the obvious when I say that with unlimited access to alcohol comes great responsibility. Allow me to create an image for you of how legal drinking, particularly at bars, differs from the weekend activities with which students are most likely familiar before the age of 21.

First things first. Alcohol is expensive. Especially at bars. What with tabs and cash and tips — oh my! — money spent at the bar starts to add up quite quickly. But we’ll get to that in a minute.

The number one thing to remember is not to get too out of control. Of course, as my mother is constantly reminding me, this is good advice for any drinking situation. By the time you turn 21, you’re hopefully already familiar with some of the most harmful consequences of consuming too much alcohol, including potentially lethal alcohol poisoning and emotional distress caused by intoxicated behavior and decisions.

And while there’s always a risk involved with drinking, in a bar in particular, it is slightly more important to remain composed there than it is at, say, a friend’s house party.

Losing your cool at a bar — vomiting, being belligerent, blacking out or partaking in any other form alcohol-induced sloppiness — is, while definitely not unheard of, absolutely frowned upon, at least more so than it is a frat party, where it so often seems as if everyone’s number one goal is to have his or her memory erased by the end of the night.

Other than the obvious fact that only bad things can come of such a drunken state, you should not cross that fine line between drunk and wasted in bars for the following reasons: a) You’re in public, b) you will end up spending more money than you ever thought possible, and c) you could kill yourself.

Let’s further discuss the second idea. Say you find yourself highly intoxicated in a bar. What do you want to do? Keep drinking, of course. Thus, you order more cocktails, eventually losing track of how much money you’ve spent, leaving you in a panic for the next few days as you furiously refresh your online bank statement waiting for your last debit card transaction to appear. Mind you, this is all strictly hypothetical.

But the important thing to remember is that there is a correlation between how drunk you are and how much money you are willing to spend. After all, it’s no secret that alcohol impairs judgment.

In fact, I often find myself overcompensating for my fear of spending too much by taking far too long to decide what to get and asking for the prices of each mixed drink, beer or pitcher before making a decision. This is, as it turns out, also frowned upon, as it both wastes the bartender’s precious time, making him less likely to approach you for your next drink order, and annoys fellow bar-goers to no end.

So while you should always be thinking economically, it is bad form to ask too many questions. My apologies go out to the patient bartenders of Oakland who got me through my first few nights at the bars.

The other major thing that I struggled with upon turning 21 was tipping. I’ve received some conflicting pieces of advice, from “always give $1 for each round regardless of what you order,” to, “the point of tipping is to get extra alcohol in your next mixed drink, so it’s not necessary to tip for beer.”

A more valid answer comes from the Huffington Post’s gratuity guide. Published in August, the guide says, “while bartenders used to expect only $1 per drink, nowadays it’s customary to pay 20 percent of the final tab, with a minimum of 50 cents for soft drinks and $1-2 on alcoholic drinks.”

However, according to a New York Times article published last April, when legal drinking was just a far-off fantasy for me, it’s not about how much you tip, but when you tip. Dining Editor of the Times Pete Wells advises bar-goers, “When you get your first drink, tip the bartender immediately, and tip big.” This will guarantee good service for the rest of the night.    Of course, there’s much to be learned by simply heading out to the bars and experiencing it all for yourself, but keep these guidelines in mind for a smoother transition into the legal-drinking world.

E-mail Katie at kna6@pitt.edu.