Opinions | Letting things go is important to protecting your peace

Recently, I’ve been feeling happy — genuinely happy, something I’ve found difficult to feel throughout my whole life. I think that a big part of this is because I’ve been letting things go and letting whatever happens, happen. 

I’m definitely not claiming I’m an expert or anything, but gosh, letting things go has been really comforting lately. Letting go of certain situations, people, feelings or past experiences is really freaking empowering.

Letting go is necessary to protecting your peace. As I’m getting older and into my 20s, I’ve really begun to realize the importance of the people I surround myself with and putting myself in situations that benefit me in some capacity.

There is no set idea or specific way to let things go, anyone can let go, whether it be letting go of certain situations, people, physical items or emotions. Letting something go that others do not understand is acceptable — you should not have to explain yourself to protect your mental well-being and peace.  

The most common way of letting things go is typically getting rid of old items that remind you of a certain person or situation from the past. Allowing yourself to get rid of these items and not have something to look at to remind you of that time in your life is freeing.

Sometimes I would feel like I needed to go back and look at things past relationships had given me — whether it be a note or gift — to remind myself of that time in my life. 

I’ve since realized how negative and draining this makes me feel, especially if it’s something from a past toxic relationship. Having these items on hand to remind you of a certain person or time in your life can be nice to reminisce about; however, it always leaves me in a weird emotional state and brings back memories I do not necessarily want to think about. 

Letting go can also consist of ridding yourself of negative or self-deprecating emotions and feelings. These feelings are incredibly difficult to deal with, and there is definitely no way to truly get rid of them. At least trying to stop these feelings and allowing yourself to grow is an important step in trying to let emotions go. 

Personally, the most empowering thing to let go of was certain situations and individuals. I know that this might sound cryptic but it’s really not. I’ve just begun to realize that letting situations pass on and allowing both yourself and the other people involved to move on with your lives is sometimes extremely necessary. 

Being in a situation with someone where you never know where you stand and what your friendship really looks like drained me, in all honesty. I didn’t even realize the effect it had on me until I realized that I needed to let this person go and let us figure out our lives and what we both — individually — wanted. Although we are still friends, I knew that for the sake of my well-being, I needed to take a step back and not let this situation consume and overwhelm me like it was beginning to. 

I had multiple crying breakdowns about this whole situation, but in the end, I knew I had to do what I needed to, I still second-guess myself and this happened two weeks ago. Allowing myself and the other person to have some time apart, be less obsessed and engrossed with each other and have us figure out what we both want was a horribly difficult but necessary decision, for the time being. 

Letting go doesn’t necessarily have to mean cutting a person out of your life completely — sometimes it can just mean taking a step back from that friendship or situation you are in. Giving yourself space to figure out what you want and if this relationship is worth continuing and positively affecting you is important. 

I think it’s really important to surround yourself with people that make you feel good about yourself and that you can enjoy spending time with even if you’re just sitting in the same room in silence, scrolling on your phones. 

Allowing yourself the ability to let go feels freeing and like you are in control of your life. It affects who you surround yourself with, who has access to your friendship and who you create relationships with. Feeling empowered by dropping people does sound a little harsh, but sometimes it’s so invaluable to protecting your peace. 

Making sure that you feel good about the situations you are in and the people you surround yourself with is so imperative to feeling happy and fulfilled. I’ve realized that how I feel around the people I spend time with is critically important for myself, my emotions and my mental health. 

Letting emotions go is more intense and complicated than almost anything else, in my opinion. There’s also such a range of emotions you could try to let go that relate to specific situations, people or a time in your life that make letting feelings go more multifaceted. 

We assume that we should feel set on our decision to let things go — regardless of what we are letting go. However, I do not particularly fully agree with this preconceived notion. I think that letting things go is difficult, takes time and is a process. There is nothing wrong with having mixed emotions about doing this. 

Feeling conflicted and confused, even after the fact, is perfectly okay. Letting things go is extremely difficult, and there is no linear way to do so, especially given the fact that letting things go is such a vast concept. There’s so many things you can let go of that it’s not right to assume there is only one way to do this and feel about it. 

Sometimes you have to let go of things that are hard to let go of or that you don’t want to, but know that you must. It’s okay to feel horrible about having to let something go, but knowing you’re doing it for the benefit of yourself, and potentially others involved, feels extremely freeing. 

Remind yourself that it’s okay to feel conflicted and confused but also happy and empowered after letting things go. As they say, healing isn’t always linear. 

Emily O’Neil writes primarily about societal issues, politics and campus life. Write to her at ero26@pitt.edu.