Trietley: There’s hope for NFL’s bottom feeders this season

Tonight, for the first time in seven months, football — real, meaningful, professional football — will be played, and it will be glorious.

Right now, every team stands on equal ground, tied with a pristine 0-0 record. Last year’s Super Bowl contenders and also-rans alike can dream of a great season.

Detroit, Buffalo, and other punchlines might plummet to the cellar before September ends, but for now hope springs eternal. The losers of the league aren’t losers yet.

In preparation for this column, I started to guess each division winner and write a little about each. The same boring names came up, though: the Colts, Saints and Cowboys. I gave up. There’s no fun in picking the 10 teams that made the playoffs last year to make them again this year.

With every team equal today, let’s spread a little hope around. Cellar-dwellers are allowed to dream a little, too. Here’s how the underdogs could win their divisions.

AFC East — Buffalo Bills (ESPN Preseason Power Ranking: 31)

The Bills played their last playoff game against Eddie George and the Titans. Needless to say, they don’t have the winning formula. They do, however, have C.J. Spiller, who will be the best running back in the division sooner rather than later. His 31-yard touchdown run against the Colts in the preseason became the first Bills highlight on SportsCenter I’ve heard of in at least eight years.

And if the old adage “time heals all wounds” applies to concussions, the Bills also have quarterback Trent Edwards back. Edwards had a winning career record (12-11) until injuries derailed him last season. Add with the league’s second-best pass defense in a pass-happy division, the Bills circle the wagons and shock the world.

AFC North — Cleveland Browns (ESPN Ranking: 28)

What’s orange and white and finished last year on a four-game winning streak? If you said Tom Brady eating a Creamsicle, think again. The 1-11 Browns said “no thank you,” to the first overall draft pick and went on a roll last December, knocking off the Steelers, Chiefs, Raiders and Jaguars.

The Browns brought in Mike Holmgren  a man who wins everywhere he goes — and veteran quarterback Jake Delhomme, but outside of that they don’t have many recognizable names. Don’t worry about that, though. The “Mangenius” Eric Mangini remains coach, and kick returner Josh Cribbs runs enough punts back to put the Browns in the playoffs.

AFC South — Jacksonville Jaguars (ESPN Ranking: 26)

The Jaguars weren’t that bad last year. Had they not lost their last four games to finish 7-9, they could have earned a Wild Card spot. But because fan support for the franchise is low — attendance dipped below 74 percent capacity in 2009 — and they play in the AFC South, nobody talks about them.

At 3-3, they had a better divisional record than Houston or Tennessee, and their losses to Indianapolis were by two and four points. They still have Maurice Jones-Drew — that really good running back you might know from your fantasy league — and a very manageable schedule. They run all the way into the playoffs.

AFC West — Kansas City Chiefs (ESPN Ranking: 27)

Addition by subtraction is a very curious thing, but the Chiefs did it last year when they waived troublemaker Larry Johnson. Not only did Johnson tweet his way to a suspension, but he also hadn’t been useful on the field since 2006.

Many people blamed Johnson’s struggles on his offensive line, but Jamaal Charles went out and rushed for 658 yards over Kansas City’s last four games. So much for that scapegoat. Charles, former Patriot Matt Cassel and current super-rookie Eric Berry run, pass and pick-six their way to the top of a weak division.

NFC East — Washington Redskins (ESPN Ranking: 20)

Washington, like Jacksonville, sits at the bottom of a very strong division. The Redskins, though, have a ton of talent and finally a coach who can make it all work.

Owner Daniel Snyder handed Mike Shanahan the reigns of a veritable “He’s on the Redskins now?” roster. Albert Haynesworth, Donovan McNabb, DeAngelo Hall, Joey Galloway, Clinton Portis and, yes, Larry Johnson all call D.C. home this year. Shanahan will make it work.

NFC North — Detroit Lions (ESPN Ranking: 29)

The NFL is a quarterback-led league, and the Lions have a good one in Matthew Stafford. With Stafford, wide receiver Calvin Johnson and running back Jahvid Best, Detroit will put up points. If Brett Favre shows his age in Minnesota, Detroit can run-and-gun it into the postseason.

NFC South — Tampa Bay Buccaneers (ESPN Ranking: 30)

Florida gets all the good stuff: good weather, the second season of Jersey Shore and user-friendly NFL schedules. If I called a team a cellar-dweller in this column, chances are Tampa Bay plays them. The Buccaneers have two scary opponents: Baltimore in Baltimore and New Orleans.

If the Buccaneers take care of business outside the division and hold their own within, they’ll blast those touchdown-celebration cannons in the playoffs.

NFC West — St. Louis Rams (ESPN Ranking: 32)

Remember when the Tampa Bay (Devil) Rays were awful? How about the Chicago Blackhawks? Well, funny thing about being awful — you get the chance to draft great prospects. Then those prospects mature at once and —bam!— playoffs.

The Rams picked first or second overall in each of the last three drafts. Sam Bradford (1st, ’09) will start Sunday. Jason Smith (2nd, ’08) and Chris Long (2nd, ’07) will mature before our eyes this year and —bam!— playoffs.

At the very least, they can hope.