Opinion | Being an adult is scary — here are some tips to make it less scary

Transitioning to college life has to be one of the most difficult changes a young adult can experience, especially if you’re out of state and have trouble navigating new atmospheres. There is a huge focus on being responsible and thriving in the independence that comes with moving away from home. But, growing up does not happen instantaneously — you have to learn how to manage yourself in a multitude of ways and build upon your life skills one at a time.

I am currently a fourth-year student, and I have learned a ton about being on my own in Pittsburgh for college. The road has not been easy, but as I learn more about myself and the world around me, being an adult seems less scary than it did while walking across a makeshift trailer high school graduation stage during a global pandemic, and I am actually excited to experience it. 

Turning the ripe age of eighteen is where this transition begins for most people. It means you are a legal adult and have agency. You most likely have just graduated from high school or you’re about to graduate. So you’ve probably already determined if you want to go to college, trade school, the military, etc. For relatability’s sake, I will be focusing on the college route into adulthood. I am from Maryland, so I am pretty far away from home, but even if you are a commuter student, a lot of these tips can be useful for you. 

One of the most important aspects of living on your own has to be grocery shopping and preparing food. If you do not have a meal plan and have minimal kitchen skills, this can be extremely daunting, but there are some great places to start. 

Before I head to the grocery store, I love to plan out what I want to eat for the week. This includes breakfast, lunch, dinner, snacks and maybe a treat or two. Make sure you hit all the categories — grains, proteins, dairy, fruits and vegetables. Having this plan allows you to only buy what you need for a recipe, and you will not have too many leftover ingredients that will just sit in your refrigerator and rot. If you are a new cook, start with something simple, like a one-pot recipe or a casserole, something you can throw all together. Pinterest and even TikTok are   great resources to find new recipes. 

With just a few pots and pans, you can make a delicious and filling meal without emptying your wallet. Money can be tight as a college student anyway, so be sure to budget appropriately, and don’t spend too much money getting takeout several times a week. I also check out weekly sales advertisements for meal planning. I love Aldi and Giant Eagle here in Pittsburgh, and I always try to plan my meals with what’s going to be on sale for the week. Then, make a shopping list. This will allow you to stay on track and not spend money on things you did not plan on getting. 

The first time at a new grocery store can be overwhelming. Don’t be afraid if you need to ask an employee where an item is — that’s what they are there for. Or if you want to stay in your own little bubble, maybe use headphones and listen to some music if the store becomes too overstimulating. 

Cooking also takes some patience, which is something I struggle with. It takes time and dedication to plan out your meal, but once you have the discipline to hold yourself to it, preparing food will never be a stressor for you again.

The next huge step is being aware of your health, both physical and mental. You need to get a physical every year. You need to see a dentist twice a year. Get your vision checked. Make sure your prescriptions don’t run out. This type of stuff can be easy to forget and is way too easy to just keep pushing off. But this will do more harm than good in the long run. I like to make notes on my phone, writing down the month that I need to schedule an appointment so I know it’s coming up. You could also use a calendar if you need to plan things out visually. You need to update this every time you go to that appointment to be prepared for the next one. 

This goes along with all the confusing stuff about health insurance. Ask your parents first to see if they can help, but the best way to get information is to call your health insurance directly. I remember the first time I had to call them on my own to figure out what prescriptions they could cover, and I didn’t know what a deductible was. It was very confusing, and I had to have my parents explain it to me again, too. But the customer service people are typically very nice, and it’s their job to help you. If you don’t have health insurance, your university might have a program that could help you. I know Pitt does.

Also, don’t be stubborn when you get sick. If you have a cold lasting for more than a couple days, go get checked out. It is not worth risking that you are seriously sick because you thought “Oh, I’ll feel better tomorrow.”

Managing your money is also a huge factor as a college student. My dad always tells me to “live within your means,” and I’ve really held to that over the years. This means that you should budget your spendings appropriately as a need or a want — a need, as in new tires for your car, and a want, as in a new dress for your formal, even though you have plenty you could wear again. 

Many students get jobs while in school, and that’s great to have a steady income, but you need to be cautious of working yourself too hard. My sophomore year, I was working at a place that had my shift on weeknights from 4:00pm to 11:00pm and sometimes even 11:30pm. I would go there after having long days of classes, and I quickly realized that I was doing worse in school. My test grades were not what I knew they could be. So, I quit. But I knew I had to find another job that could fit my schedule better, and I did. I found an on-campus job that was in between my classes, and my evenings would stay free. I was working less hours, but my education and mental health was improving, and that mattered more.

There are so many more things I could elaborate on here, but these are the big ones to me. As an adult, it’s taken me many years to not be afraid to call people on the phone, and I still hate it. I am managing my investments in my Roth IRA, which is scary and confusing, so I ask questions. Doing your own taxes is horrific, but there are resources online that can help. Reading leases for an apartment is also difficult, so take it step by step. What I want to emphasize is that this transition into adulthood has many routes, and you will most definitely get lost along the way. But all you have to do is get back up again and try another path.

Being an adult is not instantaneous — you have to learn how to be one. It takes time and patience. Many of your peers are also in the same boat, so do not be afraid to talk about it and ask for guidance. Once your adult skills start improving, it feels incredibly liberating. You have the capacity to control your own life, and that is a gift in our world — to grow old and prosper.

I probably sound like your mom telling you to do all these things because you have to, but your mom is actually right. She’s an adult who has lived through many of the things you are experiencing right now. So just do it. You deserve to be an adult, and you deserve to take care of your life in a way that only you can do for yourself.

Abby Dobry writes mostly about the arts. Write to her at abd61@pitt.edu