Satire | Time to come OUT and get it, Selena

How wonderful is it that we live in a time when the stars are more open, honest and connected with their fans than ever before? Social media, that wonderful 21st-century invention, reveals to us what Florence Pugh cooked for dinner, what North West painted in art class or what half-naked photo Troye Sivan thought was appropriate to post on main. 

Seeing as much as we do, we as the viewers know these celebrities almost better than they know themselves. Our own personal experience informs what we see in them, and thus we can identify our own problems in them. For example, Pete Davidson has ADHD, and Kim Kardashian has IBS. I say this with love — it comes from my deep sense of empathy that I just know Pete ends up playing Clash of Clans every time he sits down to write an SNL sketch, and Kim is rushing out of meetings and booking it in those damn stilettos to make it to the toilet on time. And it is most certainly out of love that I say, knowing beyond the shadow of a doubt, that Selena Gomez is a lesbian. 

It’s clear in her work, in her manner of dress, in her actions — everything she does is gay, and her gay fans know this. Why else would she constantly claim to be leaving social media, then return a day later? Objectively, this is gay behavior. 

I hesitate to fully break down the proof in her history for fear of belaboring the obvious, but for the benefit of those straight people reading this, I will provide a brief timeline of Selena’s journey with her lesbian identity. 

Like many celebrities, Selena’s career began in a heteronormative glass box. As a Disney sweetheart, Selena had a reputation to uphold and thus was unable to address any aspect of her lesbian identity until she fully left Disney behind in the mid-2010s — at which point her story becomes interesting. 

All throughout her music discography are hidden messages, and her 2015 song “Me & My Girls” reveals her lesbian relationships under the guise of expressing affection for her female friendships. “But you don’t understand/ I don’t need a man,” she says. Don’t need a man for what sort of activities, Selena? “… Stripping down by the Hollywood sign,” with her girls. Hm. 

Around this same time, Selena admitted to questioning her sexuality. She’d been spending a lot of time with notable gay person Cara Delevingne, like on a yacht for her 22nd birthday, which the press had noticed. And to her credit, Selena did not panic when asked about it — she responded with grace, saying, “I think it’s healthy” to question your sexuality. 

All this leading to 2017, when Selena released the “Bad Liar” music video. In the video, Selena is a high school girl who stalks and adores — get this! — a blonde version of herself. 

Selena also plays a man in that video. She could have been in love with a male version of herself, in a more subtle way of exposing her attraction to figures that are similar to herself. But she went with the on-the-nose route, closing the video with an image of herself staring at a polaroid of her blonde-blowout alter ego. What did we expect? She was just so desperate to let the truth spill out. She’s a bad liar. She said so herself.

This should have been the beginning of her big reveal — a dropped hairpin, or more of a dropped hair comb, really. So what happened? Why did she never follow through?

The answer is the PR. Firstly, it’s clear that Selena’s PR team was not in on her coming out scheme. I mean, months later, she was back publicly dating Justin Bieber, which gossip sites couldn’t get enough of. This was too good! The childhood sweethearts back together again. There was too much value in Selena’s straight persona — she couldn’t get around her team. They needed her playing the part, wearing Bieber’s jerseys, on everyone’s timeline riding bikes together.

And when she finally wrangled her way out of Bieber’s grubby hands, he immediately turned around and married Hailey Bieber. And while Selena may have been a lesbian and therefore did not love him, who could reasonably be expected to survive a J-name ex getting hitched with a nepo baby five seconds after dumping you? It’s all-around tragic. 

And thus, Selena’s coming out efforts were stalled. 

But seven years later … Where does she stand now? Selena Gomez is still publicly heterosexual, having failed to break those glass walls around her. And in the mid-2020s, it’s easier than ever to be gay and supported. What is she still waiting for? 

As a celebrity, it’s her duty to stand for the right things and align herself with the right causes. If she’s not honest about her — frankly, obvious — gayness, she’s doing a disservice to all her gay fans. What is the implication here? That us gay fans should hide our gayness too? It’s a slap in the face that she would refuse to be honest to her dedicated fans after all these years of supporting her even in her supposed heterosexuality. 

Take my experience, for example. I’ve been a fan of Selena since her Wizards of Waverly Place days. Years later, I recognized my obsession with her character Alex Russo to be a crush. After many years denying my own WLW attraction, I watched her “Bad Liar” music video and realized, delightedly, that she was the same as me. I waited patiently for her to dump every boy-band wannabe and come out, but that day never came. What am I meant to think now? That I should be ashamed of being a girl who likes girls, since she can’t prove to me she’s proud of being that herself? 

But still I hold on. I let myself continue to believe that my Sisyphean efforts will not be in vain one day. 

Selena’s latest music venture, “Single Soon,” has me wishing, hoping, wondering if she is shifting back to the right path, however. The song tells the story of her dumping a man so she can be “single soon,” a nod to the obvious natural state of many lesbians as seen in the eyes of straight men — single. “Imma date who I wanna,” she says, and in the music video, she wakes up in a bed full of women. It’s clear who those new somebodies that she wants to date are to those who know how to read it right. 

So, God willing, Justin Bieber stays restrained in marriage, Selena’s PR team wakes up to the 2020s and Selena finally sees the light. It’s time, Selena, for you to let the stars align. It’s time for you to come out. Your gay fans await your honesty with open arms. 

Anna is hoping for hate mail. You can reach her at ane45@pitt.edu.