Tasser: Winners and losers from the summer in sports

Dan Gilbert is the man. In case you have been hiding under a rock since June, the LeBron… Dan Gilbert is the man. In case you have been hiding under a rock since June, the LeBron James summer has officially come to an end after he joined Chris Bosh and Dwyane Wade on the Miami Heat, turning down significantly more money offered by his hometown Cleveland Cavaliers to complete the super team in South Beach.

Enter Mr. Gilbert — the Cavs owner — with the single greatest, rant in history.

His open-ended letter to season ticket holders included such gems as, “[This announcement was made] with a several-day, narcissistic, self-promotional build-up culminating with a national TV special of his ‘decision’ unlike anything ever ‘witnessed’ in the history of sports and probably the history of entertainment,” “The good news is that this heartless and callous action can only serve as the antidote to the so-called ‘curse’ on Cleveland, Ohio” and an all-caps declaration that the Cavs would win a title sooner than the “self-proclaimed King.”

If you haven’t seen this letter, seriously check it out. But enough fun, let’s get on with the list of this summer’s winners and losers.

Winners

Miami Heat. Signing Bosh and James and re-signing Wade for discounted prices all in one offseason? Any Heat fans out there want to buy me a Powerball ticket?

Spain. It won the FIFA World Cup for the first time, becoming only the eighth country to win it. The finals game against the Netherlands, however, left much to be desired. The match perfectly summed up the entire tournament with its abundance of shoddy officiating combined with player dives, fake injuries and missed opportunities. Is it just me, or does anybody else find it appalling that whenever there is a strong gust of wind, a player falls over and holds his face/leg/chest in an acting display so bad it makes Joe Nedney look like Robert De Niro, all in the hopes of drawing a foul on whomever is standing closest to him? That is one aspect that soccer needs to improve upon if it ever wants to catch on in the United States. Anyway, congrats to Spain and the Netherlands, as well, for outstanding tournaments, even if the finals game didn’t live up to expectations.

LeBron James. You turned down significantly more money to play with your boys on the beach. You are now on the best team in the NBA, which means if you don’t come through in the playoffs this year, that means trouble. But, barring any injuries (ego included), noone should touch this team this season. The Lakers and Celtics have a great core and so does the Magic, but D-Wade, King James and Bosh are heads above them all.

Miguel Cabrera. Quick, when was the last time someone won the Triple Crown? The answer is Carl Yastrzemski of the Red Sox way back in 1967. And yes, I knew that off the top of my head. Anyway, Cabrera is right there at the All-Star break, leading the American League in batting average and runs batted in, and is two home runs behind leader — and former Pirate — Jose Bautista. Let’s face it, Bautista won’t keep up his home run pace, because he simply just isn’t that good. But Cabrera will have to fight off Texas Rangers outfielder Josh Hamilton, who has the same average and homers but is 13 back in the RBI category. It should be an exciting second half for these two.

U.S. Soccer. At the World Cup, the United States both met expectations and disappointed us all at once. The team created a new level of support within the country with its great come-from-behind victories and won its group for the first time but lost a round of 16 match to Ghana, leaving Americans wondering what could have been. If the United States had beaten Ghana, which it should have, it would have had to defeat Uruguay, which was certainly do-able. Then it would have had a spot in the semi-finals and guaranteed the team a top-four finish, which might have been good enough to spur interest in the States. Coulda, woulda, shoulda I guess.

Honorable Mention:

Pittsburgh Penguins, Chicago Blackhawks

Losers

LeBron James. Did you really need hold a one-hour primetime special to announce your decision? Leaving Cleveland is one thing, (I don’t blame him at all. I hate Cleveland), but holding the press conference was quite possibly the most conceited thing in the history of sports. This showed a complete lack of class and very well could tarnish James’ “legacy” unless he wins five titles while in Miami.

World Cup officials. If you watched the World Cup at all, you know how bad it was. Seriously, that is the top sports event in the entire freakin’ world, get some competent officials. Or replay, your choice FIFA.

Cleveland. Imagine you’re an average-looking guy who somehow scored the hottest chick in school. But then she holds an assembly to announce she is dumping you for the handsome new hotshot quarterback that just moved to your school. Oh, and did I mention that you also play quarterback? That’s how Cleveland feels right now. Suddenly Art Modell isn’t so hated anymore.

Atlanta Thrashers. First they lost Ilya Kovalchuk, then they traded for the overrated Dustin Byfuglien — yes I realize he was awesome in the playoffs, but did you watch the regular season by chance? — and gave up their top prospect to do so. They also let solid players Colby Armstrong, Pavel Kubina and Johan Hedberg leave. And did I mention that the new players all want raises?

Pittsburgh Pirates. As a diehard Pittsburgh sports fan, the Pirates break my heart every year. I pray each spring that this is the year we break the streak, but alas, it is not so. With the worst record in the National League, a maddeningly inconsistent pitching staff and an inept manager, things look terrible. The glimmer of hope that is their young core — Jose Tabata, Neil Walker, Pedro Alvarez, Andrew McCutchen and Brad Lincoln — is all that is keeping me sane through the baseball season. They have to be better next year, right? Right!? RIGHT!?

Honorable Mention:

France, NBA Eastern Conference

Anyway, summer sports have been anything but dull and very painful for some. Here’s to Gilbert, Buccos fans and the Netherlands. Cheers.