Opinion | A gossip’s guide

Many a year ago, back in the good old 16th century, the standard punishment for individuals caught gossiping was an iron headgear set that forced the wearer to have a metal gag in their mouth to prevent them from speaking. I’d just like to say it’s a good thing society has moved on from that kind of punishment, because otherwise, I’d be rocking that headgear for the foreseeable future. In fact, society has progressed so much that gossip is practically everywhere — it’s even monetized these days. From discussions over coffee to tabloid magazines at the ShopRite checkout to secrets whispered behind cupped hands, gossip has completely transcended age groups, social status and identities.

I’m here to say that I love to gossip, and you should too. 

I don’t just love it — I think that gossiping is a fundamental factor of human nature. However, that being said, there is arguably a correct way to gossip. When someone’s actions either directly or indirectly hurts, bothers or frustrates us, it is logical to discuss them. When we review how someone made us feel and receive validation or advice, it better prepares us for the next time a similar situation arises. Studies have reflected the benefits of talking through your problems with trusted individuals, proving it to have benefits such as reduced levels of stress and emotional distress, as well as serving as a boost to our immune systems. Who are we if not individuals of sound mind and body? 

I feel it necessary to note that there is also a wrong way to gossip. Evidently, this might best be exemplified by the 2004 cult classic “Mean Girls,” which had some one-liners like, “That is the ugliest effing skirt I’ve ever seen.” Though this may warrant a laugh from your audience, it’s low-hanging fruit. The way someone dresses or looks is not worth gossiping about, and it enforces the harmful and incorrect stereotype that women’s gossip sessions, or conversations in general, are catty, insignificant and ill-natured. In order to fill your own cup, you shouldn’t have to take from others’. 

Though, in modern times, people aren’t publicly punished for gossiping regardless of if they do it the right or the wrong way, the concept of gabbing is still something that people look down upon. After reflecting, I don’t think it’s a coincidence that this current-day perception, along with the headgear from centuries ago, was and remains targeted towards women. In fact, the headgear, fondly referred to as the scold’s bridle, was inflicted almost exclusively upon women at the request of their husbands, and was not only a painful retribution — it was also used as means for their public humiliation. Some contraptions featured a bell, while others had a chain for the wearer’s husband to use for dragging their wives around the town, subjecting her to shame and indignity. 

This punishment was not just reserved for gossips, however. Women who simply spoke their mind were also put in the bridle and used as a warning for their peers. It’s also important to note that word-of-mouth discussion was the primary, if not sole, method women used to communicate and connect with others, as they were prohibited from receiving an education and becoming literate. The various methods of punishment for this engagement with communication or gossip are likely where the negative perception of people indulging in a good gab session began, and it is rooted almost entirely in the idea that women are supposed to be seen and never heard. 

It seems plausible, then, that it is our civic duty as women to continue to gossip. Granted, in the name of inclusivity, gossiping should never be limited to just one gender identity. The undeniable thing about gossiping is that it is an activity that does not recognize a single societal bound. The activity abides by its own rules. It brings together the most unlikely of pairings — coworkers old and young dealing with that same narcissistic boss, two teammates from different towns both dealing with the same ball hog. The reality of the situation is that a common enemy or unfortunate situation unites like no other, and talking about it is just a way of bridging the gap. 

Tessa Powers loves to write in any style, and is passionate about social justice and media. She is always open to ideas at tep49@pitt.edu