Opinion | So, what is frienship?

Many people have different viewpoints on what friendship truly is. We all have a variety of friends — best friends, close friends, casual friends, lifelong friends. Though, what really makes someone a friend? 

My parents have given me the best advice ever in life, and some of that advice is about friendship. All of us have lost friends or just experienced distance from friends that leads to fallouts. It’s a normal thing that happens, and that is OK. I always try to remind myself of the good memories I made with those people that I am not so close with anymore, but I also think about why I am not close with them anymore. Friendship is a complicated thing, and while we continuously lose friends, we always gain more. 

When I think of friendship, I think of The White Stripes song “We’re Going to Be Friends.” What I like about this song is how it describes friendships during the school years, specifically for younger kids, but it can still resonate with my college years. It reminds me of so many of my friendships, specifically the friends that I went to school with from kindergarten to college. I have loved this song for many years now, and every time I listen to it, I am constantly reminded of the friends that I have now and even the old friendships that I have had.

I’ll keep these anonymous, but I asked some of my friends what friendship is to them. I got some short but sweet responses. Some are, “friendship is harmony,” “freedom and safety to be yourself around a person or group” and “being there for each other and supporting each other.” I agree with all of these 一 having friends that you can be yourself around is one of the best feelings in the world. Being able to have that freedom with people is so heartwarming. I also got some longer responses on the meanings of friendship, which definitely helped expand on the short responses. 

A good college friend of mine gave me one of my favorite definitions of friendship. She told me, “I think friendship is a resonation with someone else, but not necessarily because you’re similar, but because of your ability to relate, resonate and learn despite your differences. That resonation is different for every person. If you can connect on that front and be understanding of someone and make the effort to show that understanding through honesty, concern and time, I think that is the sign of a really valuable friendship.”

I truly think this is a beautiful way to describe friendship. Being friends with people who show how they truly care is one of the best feelings in the world. Having friends that you can connect with on a whole other level is something that is so special, and building trust with someone over time is a great feeling. Sometimes, you find people who love you for who you are and want to know you more and more as time goes on. 

This next interpretation came from someone who I have been friends with for less than a year now. She told me, “Friendship is like when it’s a cool summer day and you’re sitting on the porch eating a cold sandwich and some chips with a soda straight out of the fridge. The dog is eating all the stuff you drop, but it’s OK, because it’s a treat. The breeze is calm, you are content. In this instance, you cannot remember being unhappy.”

I think the way this friend described friendship is quite beautiful. It reminds me of days that I actually experienced over the summer and brings on some nice nostalgia for me. It reminds me of the days I spent in Wildwood, New Jersey, with my friends and family. Those are some of my favorite memories, so hearing a friend of mine describe friendship like that really brought me some comfort. 

A lot of my friends’ definitions really made me think about current and old friendships. I am a sucker for these kinds of things because I adore my friends and spending time with them. Over the years, I have lost friends and gained more. That is a part of life, and I am so happy to have the friends I have today. 

What is your definition of friendship? You can email Irene at inm24@pitt.edu.